Arts of Pranking Romances
by aNdreaa
Summary: As punishment for setting off firecrackers at school, Sasuke is doomed to befriend the new girl in town...Haruno Sakura. But in this guy's life, the only thing he likes to do is pranking. And she's not going to stand down. SasuSaku. NejiTen. NaruHina. AU.
1. Firecrackers and Substandard Geeks

**Arts of Pranking Romances**

**By: aNdreaa**

**-&-**

**Chapter 1: Firecrackers and Substandard Geeks**

**-&-**

"Sakura!"

"Coming!"

"Sakura!"

"I said, I'm coming!"

"SAKURA!"

"I'M COMING, DAMN IT!"

Haruno Sakura stumbled over miscellaneous boxes and packages before she landed painfully on her face in front of her mother.

"Dear…you really need to learn how to be like a proper lady."

"Ouch…"

"Are you done unpacking?"

"Uh…right, I am like, SO done…sort of…"

Sakura's glance lingered on the scattered boxes still on the floor and some half opened.

"…okay, well, not really DONE, done…just sort of done…?"

She flashed a hopeful smile. Her mother sighed.

"You know…most mothers don't have to send their child to etiquette classes…"

"Ahaha…good one, mom…"

"When you're done, go say hello to our neighbors tomorrow! They're nice people, and I'm sure they'd be glad to see you."

I'd rather eat my shoe, Sakura thought, but plastering a fake smile on her face.

"Alright then- me and your father are going out for a couple of hours. Stay home, and be good, alright?"

"Ehehehe…" Sakura weakly laughed, before closing the door. She had just moved in a few days ago, and there was no way she was gonna introduce herself to some strange neighbors that were probably stuck up and rich. She sighed and flopped down on the sofa, taking in her new surroundings. They had just moved into the high class town of Konoha, where she new absolutely NO ONE, didn't know where ANYTHING was, and didn't know ANYBODY at her NEW school. Talk about a major problem.

The only thing that comforted her the _slightest _might have been that they had moved in right next door to a FABULOUS mansion, decked in gold and mahogany wood. Perhaps she could make friends with the neighbor next door and catch a glimpse of the inside…

She shook her head and all of her fantasies disappeared. Slumping back in her chair, she sighed again and stared at the wall. It was Friday…didn't the school year start today? So why didn't she go? It would have been a HECK of a LOT better than—

"—sitting here bored to death," she mumbled to herself. Glancing at her new calendar pinned to the wall, she found that she would most likely go to school on Monday. What to do over the weekend?

Now, making friends with the neighbors seemed a LOT more exciting than each her own shoe.

**-&-**

**A little less than a mile away….**

In the empty halls of a school, three boys could be seen, hiding inside the janitors closet, plotting what could only be described as trouble.

"Shut up, dipstick! Do you want to get us in trouble!"

"You shut up! And…uh…I'm hungry."

"I said, shut up!"

"You shut up, Uchiha!"

"You're hungry, huh? Then how about a knuckle sandwich you substandard geek!"

"…are you sure about this?"

"Positive. Gimme the matches."

"Hurry up! He's almost here!"

"Got the firecrackers?"

"Naturally."

"Alright, Operation Desk Blow Out ready to go underway."

"Haha, Neji- you're a genius."

"C'mon already," Naruto whined. "I've gotta go to the bathroom."

"AW, DUDE! GROSS!"

"Light the firecrackers."

SCHHHKKKHH.

But before they could argue anymore, Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto, and Hyuga Neji burst out of the closet, flinging lit sparklers in front of the door of a full classroom. Laughing, they stumbled out of the school, and into the parking lot- plugging their ears for the long-awaited—

BOOM.

"AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!"

"KYYYAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

School was in pandemonium. Immediately, the fire alarms went off and the automatic ceiling sprinklers turned on, showering the entire student body. People were running _everywhere_: Into corners, out in the halls, slamming into doors, running into lockers, smashing against each other and then passing out…

And who was to blame but the three most ingenious kings of pranksters?

"UCHIHA SASUKE, HYUGA NEJI, AND UZUMAKI NARUTO! REPORT TO THE SCHOOL OFFICE IMMEDIATELY! _IMMEDIATELY!_"

The three boys cowered at such a loud voice screeching into the overhead intercom that echoed over the screaming students. Only such a voice could belong to the one…the ONLY…

Tsunade. The most fearless and fear_some_ teacher who ever set foot on this planet.

Boy, would she give those freeloaders a nice, FAT, detention.

**-&-**

As Sasuke, Naruto, and Neji somberly walked to the DEATH-ENSURING office, they couldn't help but grin at each other. It was only the first day of their sophomore year, and their first prank had not turned out too shabby.

They were on a roll. Supposedly, it had started when Naruto met Neji in the beginning of their freshman year…they were so young…naïve…ready to set out and tackle the world, one frown at a time…then SASUKE moved in. That's when spiders started appearing in the girls' bathrooms…traps above all of the doors…rigged desks…toppling chairs…

Oh, yes…that was ALL from the great intellect of Uchiha Sasuke.

…and of course, his assistants, the dunce Uzumaki Naruto and the idea-making Hyuga Neji.

A hero is nothing without a sidekick, right?

**-&-**

**Insert theme song…**

**Review and you will get free firecrackers from the boys.**


	2. DOOM! Pink and Black Collide!

**Chapter 2: DOOM! Pink and Black Collide!**

**-&-**

"Do you have ANY idea what sort of trouble you are in!" Tsunade thundered as she slammed her hand down on her desk. It tottered underneath the impact. Sasuke, Naruto, and Neji all leaned back in their chairs, trying to get as far away from Tsunade as possible. However, Sasuke remained rather cool as he folded his hands as if at a pleasant meeting.

"With all due respect, Principal Tsunade," Sasuke said in a mockingly polite voice, "but you have absolutely no proof that this…hoax…was as a result of _our _actions."

Tsunade glared at him before digging through her pocket and slamming a freshly burnt firecracker onto the desk, making them all jump.

"Then what, may I ask, is THIS?" she demanded. Sasuke peered closer at the firecracker and then mentally kicked the blonde dunce sitting next to him. There, on the firecracker, a messy label read:

_This Belongs to Uzumaki Naruto. Touch and Die. _

Naruto broke out into a nervous laughter.

"Uh…I wonder how that got on there…hehe…"

Sasuke and Neji glared at him. Sighing, Sasuke leaned back in his chair.

"Let them go, Tsunade," he in a bored voice. "I'll take the punishment. It was my idea."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, partially impressed by his willingness to take the blame.

"Very well," she stated. "Naruto? Neji? You may go."

There was a shuffling and a muttering of , 'Thanks, dude'. They left and Tsunade stared at Sasuke who had now become interested in the pattern on the wallpaper.

"Your punishment," Tsunade continued. "Well…I had recently received a call from some parents that they are enrolling their child here. We'll be having a new student who moved here a few days ago—starting on Monday."

"What a great punishment?" Sasuke said, confused.

"Your punishment," Tsunade said, ignoring Sasuke, "will be to befriend this new st—"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Sasuke leapt off his chair, and dropped to his knees, moaning to the ceiling. Caught unawares, Tsunade jumped backwards a little, staring at the raven-haired boy who was bawling on his knees and now hitting himself in the head.

"UCHIHA SASUKE! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!" Tsunade bellowed. His face stained with fake tears, Sasuke flung himself to the ground, prostrated, and still moaning in front of Tsunade. His voice was muffled by the floor.

"Please, Principal Tsunade!" he cried. "ANYTHING but that!"

"I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED MY SENTENCE!" Tsunade cried. Sasuke noted this, and all at once, resumed his cool attitude, and leaned back in his chair.

"Sorry."

"Your punishment," Tsunade said, eyeing Sasuke warily, "is to befriend—"

"NOOO—"

"SHUT UP!"

"Sorry."

"BEFRIEND THIS NEW STUDENT!"

Tsunade had totally lost it.

"YOU WILL ESCORT THIS NEW STUDENT AROUND, BE A TOURGUIDE AND BE HELPFUL IN ALL ASPECTS OF THE SCHOOL! GOT THAT!"

"BUT—"

"You'll be in the same class and homeroom. In fact, I believe that family is moving right next door to your household."

"What! THAT'S NOT A PUNSHIMENT! YOU EVIL LITTLE—"

"That's my final word!" Tsunade proclaimed. "Leave, please."

"But!"

"LEAVE OR ELSE I'LL KNOCK YOUR TEETH IN."

"Okay."

**-&-**

Sakura crept downstairs. It was a cold Saturday morning. The household was silent, except for a…

Drip…

Drip…

Drip…

…from the sink faucet. She shivered and peered into the living room. Geez, those boxes sure made weird shapes…wait…was that…a…A GHOST! Terrified, she leapt backwards and hit her head on the wall. There was no other sound except for a…

Drip…

Drip…

Drip…

…from the sink faucet. And perhaps a girl swearing from the pain she had just received. Absolutely freaked out now, Sakura edged down the hallway…towards the kitchen to turn off that stupid faucet…it was completely silent…except for a—

DING DONG.

Shrieking, Sakura jumped about a foot in the air and she crashed into the hallway table, hurrying to pick it up and set it right. Patting her heart, she picked up her trusty dart gun, and stealthily crept up to the door, and flinging it open, swung her dart gun straight out, and yelled,

"STICK 'EM UP!"

It was two girls. Sakura widened her eyes in surprise.

"Uh…hi…" one girl said nervously, while staring straight into the gun barrel that was threateningly being pointed at her. "…I'm uh…Tenten…your next door neighbor…and uh…um…this is Hinata…uh…"

The gun was still being pointed at her. Sakura finally got over her surprise, slammed the door shut, gasping, flung the gun out of sight, and opened the door once again, putting on a happy smile.

"Sorry about that," she said nervously at the bewildered girls. They stared at her, terrified as if she was about to embark on a mass murder or something.

"Okay…" Hinata whispered…her eyes still wide open. Sakura bit her lip.

"Uh…you're neighbors?"

"Y-yeah," Tenten said, after recovering. "Um, I live in that house down the street."

"I live next door," Hinata said, giving a small smile. Sakura lit up.

"Oh, wow! Do you'll go to that school around the corner too?"

"Yeah…"

"That's cool."

"Yeah."

Sakura had never felt more awkward in her entire life. Suddenly, she felt a chilling suspicion that something was coming their way. She stuck her head outside the door, with Tenten and Hinata staring at her.

"Uh…are you okay?"

"Quick! Get inside!" Sakura motioned them. "Something's…coming…"

Swiftly, Sakura closed the door, peeking through the side window. Suddenly, she saw a shadow creep up the doorstep…it was coming closer and closer! And JUST as she was about to turn the doorknob, the bell rung once again. Sakura flung the door open, screaming.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

There was a raven-haired boy standing on her doorstep, his arm still outstretched to where he had rung the doorbell, and he was yelling his head off too in surprise.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Sakura kept on screaming as her new neighbors stared at her, completely bewildered. She had fallen over backwards, and Tenten and Hinata caught her, none too gracefully.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING!" the boy yelled.

"AAAAUUUUuuuhhhhggg…" Sakura stopped, and she stared up, aghast, and the boy standing in over her.

A few seconds passed in dead silence…and then Sakura uttered the weakest laugh ever. Smiling waveringly, she spoke first,

"H-hi…can I h-help you?"

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" the boy bellowed. Sakura almost snorted.

"Excuse me? Who are YOU?"

"I ASKED YOU FIRST!"

"WHO CARES!"

The boy shook his head as if to clear it, and then taking a deep breath, let out a long, agonizing speech.

"Salutations," he said in a monotone, "my full and proper name is Uchiha Clan's Uchiha Sasuke. I'm fifteen years old, and I go to Konoha High School as a sophomore. My principal and parents insist on good manners and apposite etiquette that I befriend the son of this household as to assist in any trouble that he may be experiencing. I am expected to fulfill this duty by the time you are officially enrolled in school by the second day of next week. But, however, when I was told to befriend the child of this household, I was NOT EXPECTING A GIRL!"

He belted out the last part and Sakura looked at him, her jaw dropped. Silently, Tenten reached over and closed Sakura's mouth. Hinata laughed nervously.

"Hehe…sorry. She's had a long morning," she explained. Sasuke glared Sakura who was still staring at him with the largest sea-foam green eyes he had ever seen.

"Um…can we help you in any way?" Tenten asked. Hinata nudged her to get the gist that this Uchiha Sasuke had already explained why he was here. Reaching out her small hand, Hinata smiled.

"I'm Hyuga Hinata. Pleased to meet you."

Sasuke glared at her extended hand and didn't take it. He raised an eyebrow.

"Neji's cousin?"

Offended, Hinata narrowed her eyes and nodded.

"I'm Tenten," the headstrong girl stated shortly.

"H-Haruno Sakura," Sakura said, still in awe. He spoke like a complex dictionary or something. His deep, black eyes glared at her.

"Whatever," he muttered, and turning on his heel, he stopped on the pathway.

"Like I said before, good protocol requires me to invite you to…a late lunch on Monday. This invitation is entirely restricted to you only, Haruno."

Tenten and Hinata noted that he said this, while eyeing them with a glaring face.

"Like I'd _want _to come," Sakura snarled. Angry sparks flew around the open doorway.

Sasuke glanced at the rosy-pink haired girl who was (might I add…STILL) sitting on the floor, her bright face, her airheadedness…

This punishment was going a lot worse than he thought.

**-&-**

**When I write this, I feel like I have a ton of comic-relieving issues just flowing out of my brain. This is good therapy.**


	3. New Student and Yo Momma!

**Chapter 3: New Student and Yo Momma!**

**-&-**

Sasuke glared at his cereal bowl and the assortment of breakfast foods lying luxuriously in front of him. Stupid Cocoa Puffs. Stupid Tony the Tiger-they're-not-just-good-they're-great motto. Stupid croissant. Stupid muffin. Stupid sausage. Stupid eggs. Stupid salt and pepper. Stupid—

"Sasuke, you really should eat," his mother said. " Butler cooked this scrumptious breakfast for you." Sasuke stared blankly at his oblivious mother. Setting the table for one person and pouring milk into cereal wasn't considered 'cooking'.

It was 7:30 in the morning, Monday morning to be exact.

"I'm not hungry," Sasuke said, shortly. His black eyes glared at the stupid frosted flakes floating in the cold milk in his bowl.

"I received a call from your principal last night."

"Erghnehanmph," Sasuke muttered. His mother raised a stern eyebrow.

"So is our new neighbor coming over for lunch?"

"GUH!" Sasuke turned green as if he was about to vomit. Clutching dramatically at his throat, he began to go in a series of convulsions as he fell off his chair and started writing in the floor at the feet of his confused mother.

"Well, I'll be expecting to see her. She seems like a sweet little girl, hm?"

Sasuke's spasm seemed to take note of this as he glared at his mother, who sighed.

"Very well. Hurry up and go to school." Before his mother could change her mind, Sasuke dashed to school.

**-&-**

"AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHOOOHHAAAOFHAOGHAOFUH!" This scream shot down the hallway and swam into the kitchen as the Haruno parents jumped in surprise. There was a loud banging, and smashing, but finally they were relieved to find their daughter in one piece as she raced down the stairs, gasping.

"NOTIMETOEATGOTTAGOTOSCHOOL!" she cried as she slipped on the tile floor and landed on her back.

"Oh, my God! Sakura, are you alright?"

"Tenten and Hinata are on the front steps, waiting for you."

"OH, CRUD! MOM, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO!"

"You were rushing, sweetie!"

As Sakura burst through the front door to catch up with her newfound friends, her parents sighed.

"I wonder if she's met the Uchiha's yet."

"Let's hope not. There'll be a World War III if that happens…"

"Dear!"

"I'm just saying the truth…"

**-&-**

"Yo…"

"Hn."

"YO!"

"Hn."

"Yo, yo!"

Sasuke stared at Naruto, who was currently reading _199 Ways to Salute a Gangster_. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Shut up, Naruto," Neji said monotonously.

"But I'm practicing…" Naruto whined as he reluctantly put the book away.

"Watch," Sasuke whispered as audible voices could be heard outside.

"Is that our teacher? And Tsunade?" Naruto hissed. Sasuke smirked.

"Wait and see…"

As the classroom door swung open, a bucket that had been neatly suspended in the doorway, immediately dropped on Tsunade's head and burst into sloppings of purple paint that started dripping down her head and onto the floor. Tsunade's mouth became thinner and thinner as Sasuke, Naruto, and Neji broke out into silent fits of laughter and high fives.

"Uchiha," she said, gritting her teeth as their homeroom teacher walked in, aghast. "Detention. After school. No exceptions."

And with that, she walked out of the classroom, leaving purple footprints behind her. Their teacher cautiously entered, checking the door for another trap.

"Um…we have a new student!" she proclaimed excitedly, expecting a roar of cheers and remarks.

crickets chirping

"Oh, my, gosh," Sasuke said in the boredest voice of excitement. "I cannot wait. Can you wait, Naruto?"

"Huh?" Naruto asked, confused. Sasuke sighed. Naruto would always be a dunce.

"Uh…well, c'mon in, then," the teacher said, dejectedly. Shivering and looking scared as heck, Sakura was dragged in by Tenten and Hinata.

"Please make her feel at home- Haruno Sakura, is it?" the teacher said, smiling a little _too_ widely at Sakura.

"Uh…yeah," Sakura said, forcing a smile.

"Well, something about this class, Miss Haruno," the teacher continued, "is that instead of alphabetical seats by your _last _name, we sit alphabetically by your _first _name. Isn't that FUN!"

Sakura stared at the teacher. She had been transported to a freak kindergarten class.

"That. Sounds. Great," Sakura said, smiling forcefully again.

"Great! So whose first name starts with an S!"

No one raised their hand.

Except for the most apparent guy in the class.

"Sasuke!" The teacher trilled. "Make Sakura feel at home, will you?" She violently pushed Sakura forward and ushered Tenten and Hinata to take their places.

Sakura cast her eyes downward as she approached her desk behind Sasuke's.

"HGURK." Sakura uttered this (really weird) noise as she tripped and fell flat on her face, with Sasuke dissolving into open laughter. Flushing, Sakura leapt up, smoothing down her uniform.

As she took her seat, she whispered to the smirking boy in front of her,

"Hey…do I still come after school for that late lunch thing?"

"No," he answered bluntly. A look crossed Sakura's offended face.

"But—"

"Look, I have a detention alright? So just, shut up, pansy. You have just ruined my entire life existence with your stupid face, so get away before I die of rabies or something."

Sakura was boiling with anger, and a few feet away, Tenten and Hinata seemed to notice this.

"Me!" she hissed, careful not to be too loud. "Look at you, you retard! I'm not surprised if you were born an _accident_ or found in the sewage system- because you're so ugly, I bet your parents took you for money!"

"Oh yeah?" Sasuke challenged. "Well, your mom's so fat that when she steps on an electronic scale, it says ONE AT A TIME PLEASE!"

"Well, your mom is so blind that when you were born, she actually thought you were _cute!_"

"Well, _your_ mom's glasses are so thick that when she reads a map, she sees people waving!"

Sakura stared at him.

"…my mom doesn't wear glasses," she said after a few seconds.

Sasuke sweatdropped. She WAS an air head.

"You're so dumb that you think square roots are vegetables!" Sasuke retorted. Sakura scoffed.

"You're so ugly that your mom thought you were related to the baboon at the zoo!"

"Well, YOU'RE so ugly, that when your mom screamed when she gave birth to you, it was because she saw your stupid face!"

"Well, you're so UGLY THAT YOUR MOM RAN AWAY FROM HOME!"

This one, Sakura belted out a little too loudly and she turned 8 shades of red when the class stared at her.

"Hehehe…sorry about that," Sakura said, nervously. And then she sat down before she could embarrass herself again.

**-&-**

**Review and you will get the latest copy of Yo Momma jokes.**

**First off- THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING! I LOVE YOU GUYS!**


	4. Cement, Honey, and Hyuga’s Feathers

**I'm so happy! Wow…those review sure came quick. Haha, thanks a lot, readers! Sorry for taking too long. Have fun reading! And reviewing!**

**-&-**

**Chapter 4: Cement, Honey, and Hyuga's Feathers**

**-&-**

"Grr…what's so GREAT about her ANYWAYS," Sasuke demanded to no one in particular, raising his voice at random intervals. He glared at that stupid pink-haired girl who was surrounded by laughing and smiling.

She had a contagious smile and it was now spreading over the entire class of sophomores. What WAS so great about her? She was TOO happy, TOO carefree, and DEFINITELY too airhead for Sasuke to stand. Naruto patted his friend on the shoulder.

"Don't worry. I'm sure you'll grow to like her sooner or later."

But he was only greeted with another deadly glare.

"How am I supposed to be FRIENDS with that BIMBO!" Sasuke belted out, startling everyone around him. "I can't say anything without pranking her or insulting her! She's just so…erghkahehdgihekrghk!" He grunted. Naruto and Neji stared their friend who had just cracked.

"Are you referring to ME?" a voice said, dangerously. Sasuke whipped around. Somehow, Sakura, Tenten, and Hinata had ended up behind him.

"Maybe I am, Haruno," Sasuke sneered. Sakura glared right back at him.

With a flourishing demeanor, Naruto bowed low and extended his hand to Hinata, who blushed deeply.

"May I offer this lovely lady a gracious rose?" he said dramatically. Sasuke and Neji rolled their eyes and Sakura raised an eyebrow.

Trembling, Hinata reached out a small hand to take the rose, but in one swift movement, Naruto flicked out his dart gun and shot one instant hit. It flew through the air and successfully got Hinata in the forehead, where the suction cup stuck rather firmly.

"Adhesive Glue!" Naruto burst out laughing. "Good luck with that…"

As Hinata flushed and reached for the dart, Sakura boiled with anger. Pranking her was one thing, but not her friends! Unexpectedly, she swung her fist and punched Naruto in the jaw bone. Neji caught him from falling and Sasuke narrow his eyes.

"You're going down, Haruno," he said, gruffly.

"Well, you're going down, Uchiha," Sakura retorted.

"You're going down even _further_ than I am!"

"Oh yeah? Well, you're going DOWN to the GROUND!"

"Oh yeah? Well, you're going DOWN to BELOW the GROUND!"

"Oh yeah!"

"That's right, Haruno!" Sasuke snapped. "When you wake up tomorrow, prepare to EAT MY DUST."

"EAT MY DUST FIRST, BUBBA!" Sakura screamed as Tenten and Hinata tried to haul her home…

…unfortunately, remember that Sasuke lives next to her.

"YOU'RE GOING DOWN SO DEEPER THAN THE GROUND THAT YOU'LL EAT MY DUST THAT I LEFT A MONTH AGO!"

"SHUT UP, LOSER! YOU HADN'T EVEN MOVED IN A MONTH AGO!"

**-&-**

**The Next Morning…**

"Sakura! Time to get up!" Mrs. Haruno called up to her daughter.

Sakura groaned and rolled over in her blankets. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and graced the floor to find her feet immersed in a small bucket of lukewarm water.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHH!" she roared. She tried kicking the bucket off, but it wouldn't budge. The floor was getting wet. Desperately looking around, she glimpsed a towel draped over her desk chair.

Too bad she didn't realize that the towel was meant to be placed there. The minute she grabbed it, she realized the string connected to it and her eyes shifted towards the ceiling. To her horror, a bag of dry cement came tumbling upon her, slamming into her head, and settling deep into the bucket of water.

"Oh, censored," she swore loudly. The bucket had now become a mushy and hard paste. Coughing and sneezing the cement dust, she shifted around for a few minutes, and then letting out an angry noise.

"THAT-EGOTISTCAL-DIRT-OF-A-PIG-UCHIHA-IS-_SO-_DEAD!" came the long and horrendous scream from upstairs. Mrs. Haruno sweatdropped.

"I guess she _has _met the Uchiha's son."

"I guess we'd better stock up on food," Mr. Haruno said solemnly.

"Why?"

"Well, there's going to be a war isn't there?"

"DEAR!"

"…Sorry."

**-&-**

**Next Door- That Same Morning…**

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP—

"Hn," Sasuke groaned, rolled over and slammed his fist on his alarm clock button. A loud click echoed the silent room and immediately, Sasuke bolted up. A loud click? That could only mean one thing…

SCCCCHHHLLLUUPPPP.

"WHAT THE HE—"

But before he could say anything else, a large bucket of honey that had been creatively attacked to the ceiling, tipped over and Sasuke found himself drenched in sticky bee barf.

**(A/N: Bees fly from flower to flower, they gather nectar, stores it in a special stomach and it turns into honey. When he gets back to the hive, he ****spits it up**** into a special holder build called the honeycomb. So technically, honey is bee barf. Not to gross you out or anything…. But if you REALLY want to look at it, the special stomach doesn't TOTALLY digest it, so it's not really barf.)**

"HARUNO! YOU ARE _SO_ GOING DOWN TODAY!" Sasuke roared as he stormed out of bed. He wrenched open his door and to his horror, the doorknob was connected to a string and when he looked into the hall, he was staring straight into the face of a fan with a pile of feathers into front of it.

FWOOM.

"Pbbbth," Sasuke spat. So Haruno _did _have some pretty good tricks up her sleeve. But she would never get that cement off in time for school, he smirked. Stupid, idiotic, childish, airhead bimbo…

**-&-**

"Where can she be?" Tenten asked impatiently. Instead of waiting at Sakura's front door as Mrs. Haruno told them not to, she and Hinata were at the school gate, waiting for their friend.

"Maybe she got preoccupied…you know, with Sasuke's pranks or something," Hinata said nervously. Tenten looked at her and smiled.

"Like you fell for Uzumaki's prank, yesterday?" she snorted. Hinata blushed.

"N-No! That was—"

But Tenten nudged her in the ribs and they spun around. Sasuke, Neji, and Naruto were walking towards them. Hinata let out frightful squeak.

"What do you think they did to Sakura?" she whispered. Tenten narrowed her eyes at the three pranksters.

"Sakura's not here, Uchiha," Tenten stated.

"Obviously," Sasuke smirked. "My pranks aren't too good to handle."

"Does it smell like honey?" Hinata noted suddenly, sniffing the air. Sasuke flushed.

"Uh…no…no honey here…at all…"

But Tenten reached out pulled out a stray feather stuck to the hem of Sasuke's shirt. She smiled.

"I think our little Sakura had a prank up her sleeve for you too. Too bad you, that blonde dunce, and that stoic moron over there aren't _good _enough for her."

Neji twitched. _Stoic moron?_

Tenten seemed to take note of Neji's sudden murderous atmosphere. Sighing dramatically, and smiling, she blew the feather towards him and it drifted on his head. Another twitch.

This woman was going down after this, he thought.

"There, Hyuga," Tenten smirked. "It goes with your chicken personality."

The remark was corny and they all stared at her, but her action had served its purpose. Neji snapped, and tossed the feather of his head.

"YOU LITTLE—" he started, but just as he was about to strike her, she smiled and Neji paled a little bit.

Boys…just didn't hit girls. It was an unwritten law. And they _both _knew that. She was manipulating him!

But boys could _prank_ girls…right?

Raving, Neji folded his arms and scowled. Stupid women.

**-&-**

**Yawn. I typed this chapter at 1:26 in the morning and I am dead tired.**


	5. Cement Predicament and Ghost Boy

**I love how everyone's been threatening to beat and prank me if I didn't review. I adore you guys. I may use some reviewer's idea of pranking with the popcorn and rubber duckies…they're cute ideas! **

**-&-**

**Chapter 5: Cement Predicament and Ghost Boy**

**-&-**

"CLASS! SETTLE DOWN! Now…is anyone missing?"

Sasuke uneasily glanced at the seat behind him. Was Haruno alright? I mean, she wasn't allergic to cement, was she?

Then again…why did he care? Nope. He didn't. At all. AT ALL. Okay, so maybe he was frickin' scared to death that she had tumbled over and smashed her head against her desk, but otherwise, he was cool.

He was _totally_ cool.

"HARUNO. ISN'T. HERE," Sasuke stated loudly as everyone stared at him.

"Hey, Hinata!" Naruto said excitedly to the girl next to him. Hinata tried not to blush.

"Hi," she said, shortly.

"Aw, c'mon, don't be mad…"

"Please don't talk to me or I will personally duct tape your mouth."

"…"

Truth be told, Naruto was scared now.

Tenten glanced at the doorway. Why was Sakura so late?

Right on cue, a loud THUMP was heard, followed by a series of the strangest noises:

CLANG.

CLANG.

CLANG.

WHAM.

"CRAP! OW!"

CLANG.

CLANG.

CLANG.

CLANG.

CLANG.

CLUNK.

"GABAAAAAAAHHH!"

WHAM.

"Ugh…"

CLANG.

CLANG.

CLANG.

The teacher quickly opened the door to reveal Sakura herself, red in the face, a bruise over her right eye, and…

…the cement bucket was still stuck on one foot.

As the class erupted into laughter, Tenten and Hinata scowled as Sasuke, Neji, and Naruto evaporated into tears of mirth and happiness.

"Um…Haruno, tell me why you're—"

"BECAUSE OF THAT EGG-HEAD RIGHT THERE! MAYBE IF HE HAD NEVER EXISTED, MY LIFE WOULD HAVE A HECK OF A LOT MORE PEACE THAN IT DOES NOW! UCHIHA SASUKE, I WISH YOU WOULD JUMP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET WHERE A TRUCK CAN HIT YOU AND SEND YOU TO WHERE YOU BELONG!"

A looooooong silence followed these words, but finally Sasuke snapped back to his old self.

"And what about the honey? You know how long it took me to scrub that stuff off?"

"Well, at least you didn't come to school, late you dingus!" Sakura snarled.

With the clanging of the metal bucket still ringing, Sakura stumped to her desk and slammed her books down so hard that her desk shifted.

"Look, you flea-infested dirtbag," Sakura said menacingly. "I don't care WHAT our principal OR your mom is telling you. ME BEING FRIENDS WITH YOU IS COMPLETELY OUT OF THE QUESTION AND MOST LIKELY, I'D BE CRYING TEARS OF _JOY _IF I WERE TO EVEN _GO _TO YOUR FUNERAL! GOT THAT!"

Sasuke was a shocked. I mean, besides the fact that she was screaming at him with a cement bucket stuck to one foot, she looked a little more flustered and angry than he thought she would have been.

"Uh…"

"DON'T TALK TO ME!" Sakura yelled and she sat down huffily.

"Aww…they've known each other only a few days and they're ALREADY in love…" Naruto said, grinning sappily.

"I didn't know you thought of her like that, Uchiha," Neji smirked.

"SHUT UP, GORILLA!" Sakura thundered, and fired her pencil bag at Naruto's head. It hit him square in the face and he rolled onto the floor in pain.

"Why do you guys hit _me_ all the time?"

**-&-**

**Haruno Household…**

It had been a week since Sakura had set her eyes on that piece of garbage that people acknowledged as Uchiha Sasuke. No pranks were out of the ordinary except for him replacing paint in her shampoo bottles, duct taping her doors shut, booby-trapping her desk, putting pepper in all of the yogurt cups…ABSOLUTELY nothing out of the ordinary. Besides the fact she scared the wits out of her parents by waking up, screaming ballistic every morning when she found one more of Sasuke pranks waiting for her.

She wished he would just walk off a cliff and die. That would have made her life SO much easier, but NOOOOO he just HAD to exist. What had she done to deserve this piece of junk in her life?

Sighing, Sakura leaned out of her window with a pair of binoculars. Luckily that he lived next door, she had a perfect view of his entire bedroom and all of his schemes going on…that is, if he left his curtains open. But he was nowhere to be seen. Lowering the binoculars, Sakura bit her lip. She had been expecting something by now…like a water balloon assault or something. She sighed in admiration at the beautiful mansion.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt to just…say hello? I mean, her parents were out right now…

Shyeah right- she just wanted to see the inside of that gorgeous three story house. Sakura walked across the room to the other window to see the other side of the streets…but why was it all quiet? And then suddenly, a noise broke the deadly silence.

"Hoooooowahhhhhooooohwahhhh…"

Personally, if it had been daytime, Sakura wouldn't have fallen for such a stupid noise. She would have probably thought it was the radiator or something…but this was at 8:30 at night, and there was no moon. Hearing the door open, she tripped backwards and whirled around to find a shapeless, white, flowy, weird creature and…and it was coming towards her!

"AAAAAAIEEEE!" She let out a high-pitched scream, and grabbed an unpacked suitcase next to her. Holding it out in front of her for defense, she watched the ghost and her heart stopped.

"HOOOOOWWWWHAAAAWHOOOOWAAA!" the ghost said again, flapping its flowy arms for added effect.

This time, Sakura screamed so loudly, that a window shattered and the ghost ducked for his life to avoid the flying glass pieces. Wait a minute…if this ghost was afraid to be hit…then maybe…

Timidly, Sakura inched towards the ghost as gently as she could, and the ghost inched towards her too…Sakura reached out a gentle hand, and then—

WHAM.

She swung the suitcase so hard that the stupid ghost flew backwards, groaning. Sakura was almost terrified at what she had just done. Now it would seek revenge! Now it would haunt her forever just to get back at her for giving it a black eye!

"OW! CRAP, CRAP, CRAP!" the ghost swore, clutching his head. Sakura took off her shoe and flung it across the room and hit the evil spirit once more! She flung her other shoe and hit the ghost again…but it held up its hands in defense.

"SHIT!" it cried. Sakura stopped in disbelief and slumped to the ground, amazed. The ghost knew more words than 'HOOOOWAHHH' and 'OW' and 'CRAP'! What was wrong with this ghost!

But the ghost got up and advanced towards her, despite its injuries. Sakura leapt backwards, but tripped and fell on her back, trying to shield herself from the horrid sight! But images of her life flew through her memory and dramatic music began playing in the background.

SHE WOULD NEVER DIE! SHE WOULD PREVAIL! SHE WAS NOT GOING TO BE KNOWN AS THE GIRL WHO DIED BECAUSE OF A GHOST! NEVER! SHE WOULD FIGHT LIKE SHE HAD NEVER FOUGHT BEFORE!

With a wild cry, she hurled her fist back and swung it straight into the ghost's jaw and he crumpled to the ground…but not before Sakura caught a glimpse of a set of deep, _gorgeous_, midnight eyes…THE GHOST HAD EYES!

Screaming again, Sakura jumped backwards, gasping. The ghost was…SASUKE! He had merely taken off the white flowy stuff, and there, before her, stood her nemesis and he was clutching his eye and his jaw in pain.

"Oh. My. God," Sakura said, breathless. "Are you okay? I am SO sorry…"

"Ah…yeah, I'm fine," Sasuke said, grinding his teeth. Sakura sighed.

"Really? Okay. Then please explain…"

"…WHAT THE HELL THAT WAS FOR!" Sakura said, her sweet face turning into an outraged lion. She fired another punch and it hit him in the face again.

"Ow…I'm crippled…owww…" Sasuke moaned. Sakura snapped back to her old self.

"Oh! Oh, my God! Are you okay? I'm really sorry! Uh…" Her bright sea foam green eyes glistened earnestly at him, and Sasuke felt a small heat rise up to his face. Oblivious, she ran to the freezer to get a bag of ice, and then rushed back to his aid.

"Y-you startled me, that's all," Sakura said nervously as she pressed the numbing ice to his (gorgeous) face. Sasuke raised an eyebrow. Sakura sighed.

"Okay…so I was scared out of my pants, but WHAT WAS THAT FOR? I HAVEN'T EVEN KNOWN YOU FOR A FULL TWO WEEKS AND YOU JUST POP OUT OF NOWHERE, INVADING MY HOUSE AND—"

"PLEASE! Shut. Up," Sasuke said in a short voice.

Sakura was taken aback. He had such a cool, hard voice she thought would have come out of the movies. Man, sometimes, Sasuke made Brad Pitt look like a clown.

"Oh, sorry Mr. Idiot," she snarled. Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"Watch it, pansy. You're messing with the wrong guy."

"Well, baboon-face! If you hadn't barged in and freaked me out for no apparent reason, I wouldn't be so angry!"

"It was just a prank- and an excellent one at that!"

"Oh, please. Who _are _you! Mr. Egghead!" Sakura got to her feet and folded her arms. Sasuke stood up as well, and Sakura's heart fell to see that he was taller than her and staring at her with those wonderful eyes…

"You are going down," he said, malevolently. Sakura growled.

"Well you are going down even _further_ than I am!"

"Oh, yeah?"

"That's right, dude! You prank me, I'll prank you BACK! Just wait, you insolent, little piece of trash…"

"Oh, please- the worse prank you've pulled on me was that whole honey-chicken thing."

Sakura glared at him, her green eyes flashing.

"OH YEAH?" she retorted as he walked out of her house, laughing. "JUST YOU WAIT, SASUKE! YOU ARE DEAD!"

**-&-**

**Uchiha Household…**

"You should have SEEN the look on her face!" the black-haired boy said, crumpling to his knees in laughter.

"Sasuke- she doesn't even know who you are," Naruto said conversationally. "Don't you think it's kind of mean?"

They looked at each other for a few seconds before erupting into more laughter. Neji came in through the door and rolled his eyes at the sight of his two friends clutching things to support themselves from falling.

"You guys can shut up now," he noted after a few minutes.

"Sorry, Neji," Naruto said, wiping away a tear. "That prank went pretty well."

"Yeah, excluding the broken jaw and black eye she gave me," Sasuke said, holding up the ice pack to his face.

"You already have black eyes," Naruto said, confused.

"…"

"…Naruto. You are the stupidest guy I've ever met."

"Say, you got any cheese, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, distracted.

They stared at him.

"I'm hungry…actually, you got any ramen?" Naruto walked into the kitchen and started pulling random things out of the cabinets.

"Geez…how are we supposed to pull of our set of pranks when we have this idiot with us all the time?" Sasuke groaned. Neji just stared.

**-&-**

**Whoa, that was a little LONGER than all my other chapters…but you guys deserve it for reviewing me so kindly. And yes, I know, everyone in this fic is OOC.**

**It's called CRACK smashed with the cliché high school theme.**


	6. Spying, Harasser, and an Invitation

**To angelgurl079, I'm going to definitely DEFINITELY use that rubber ducky prank reaaally soon in the next, NEXT, chapter, but I'm adding some glue in there. BWAHAHAHA…everyone, prepare to a memorial service for Sasuke, okay? Oh gosh, I'm totally kidding…but have some sympathy for the poor guy. **

**ENJOY! LOVE YOU GUYS TO DEATH!**

**-&-**

**Chapter 6: Spying, Harasser, and an Invitation**

**-&-**

**Uchiha Household…the Next Day…**

Putting his binoculars up to his eyes, Sasuke glared out the window as he watched Sakura's room. She hadn't come home from school yet, since he had dashed out way before she did, hoping to catch a chance to foreshadow any pranks she had up her sleeve. Putting down his binoculars, Sasuke groaned. Why were girls so darn SLOW at walking? Ergh…especially Sakura. But something broke his mental thoughts.

Sakura had opened her bedroom door and Sasuke grabbed his binoculars.

"Okay…the trash has entered the room. Trash flicks on light switch. Trash drops backpack on the floor. Trash digs under bed and pulls out cardboard box. Trash gets up, sorts through box- ARE THOSE PRANKS? WHY THAT CHEATING LITTLE TRASH-HEAD! I OUGHTA COME OVER THERE AND KICK THAT BOX RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW! HOW DARE SHE SET UP MORE PRANKS WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE! How- uh oh. Trash looks around and- AAAAAAAAHHH! SHE'S LOOKING RIGHT AT ME! WHAT DO I DO! WHAT DO I DO!"

Frantically, Sasuke dropped the binoculars and flung him under his bed as if he was waiting for a bomb to explode.

"SASUKE- YOU SPYING LOSER!" Sakura screamed. She had never exactly forgiven him for that ghost prank. She unfastened the switch on her window and thrust it open, red in the face.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU HARASSER!"

Sasuke twitched and got up, opening his window as well.

"I AM NOT HARASSING YOU, TRASH!" he bellowed back.

"WHAT'S WITH THE BINOCULARS, DINGUS!"

"NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX, BLOCKHEAD!"

Sakura gripped the windowsill so hard out of anger that she had permanently molded her fingers into the plaster. But an adult lady's voice trilled,

"Sasuke! Sweetie, come down here! I have absolutely wonderful news!"

Paling as Sakura burst into laughter, Sasuke mentally kicked his mother. Wait to go, ruining his pride in front of his sworn enemy.

"I'll be back, trash," Sasuke muttered and slammed his window, running out of the room.

**-&-**

"What do you want, mom?" Sasuke said impatiently as he rushed downstairs. His mother sat on the couch, beaming at him.

"Were you having a nice chat with your girlfriend?" she said innocently. Sasuke went beet-red.

"MOM! NO! GROSS! EEEWWW…" he mimed throwing up. His mother scowled.

"Sasuke, I expect you to treat her like a lady. You DID give her a tour of Konoha, didn't you?"

Silence.

"Uh…sure. I mean, we've been…uh…getting along fantastically. Yup."

"Oh, then we're having a dinner tonight. All of your cousins are coming. Won't that be fun?"

"Yeah…great."

Sasuke didn't hate his cousins, but they were more like siblings to him. Likewise, they thrived on teasing him ever since they had learned of his punishment to befriend a girl.

"And, I was thinking that you could invite your girlfriend too."

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Mom, she's not my girlfr—WHAAAAAAAAAT!" he yelled.

"Well, you _did _say that you two were getting along…"

"YEAH, BUT MY COUSINS WILL MAKE FUN OF ME! I CAN'T DO THA—!"

But his mother had already pushed him out of the door.

"Go invite her and her family, Sasuke. Now, I couldn't exactly hear what you two love-birds were yelling across the yard, but it must have been romantic, no? Now that she's in a good mood, use all of your proper manners like I've taught you to uphold our family honor!"

Smiling jovially, Sasuke's mother waved him onto the sidewalk.

Going white again, Sasuke bit his lip. Sakura was SO not in a good mood right now…maybe he could run for it and never return…his mother would never know right?

Sigh.

Cursing to the sky, he stomped up Sakura's doorstep and reluctantly pushed the doorbell. It swung open immediately.

"WHAT DO _YOU _WANT, IDIOT?" Sakura demanded. Sasuke eyed his mother still watching him from the sidewalk and plastered a big fake grin on his face and bowed deeply. Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"What are you doing?"

"I, as a member of the prestigious Uchiha clan, would like to invite you and your family over to our house tonight at 7 o' clock to join us for dinner."

And dropping his voice to a deadly whisper, he muttered, "And my cousins are going to be there to make fun of me so don't you dare do anything embarrassing."

At this, Sakura broke into a big smile, catching Sasuke off guard.

"What are you, mental? I hate you, you hate me, and you're SMILING that I just invited you to dinner."

"No…I'm smiling because my parents are totally oblivious to any jokes I perform which means I won't get in trouble with them if I prank you or embarrass your position in your "honorable clan"."

Sasuke gasped.

"You WOULDN'T."

"Oh, I WOULD."

"No…"

"Yes…"

"NO!"

"Too bad, Uchiha," Sakura said, simpering as she closed the door in his face. "Expect me to give you some PRESENTS tonight."

Stiff, Sasuke walked back to his house, passing his mother.

"Well, what did she say, sweetie?"

"Her parents can come."

"Oh! That's wonderful!"

"And so can she."

"That's wonderful! You can introduce her to the whole family!"

"…"

**-&-**

**Hope you liked it! The next chapter is like, TOTAL FLUFF between Neji, Tenten, Hinata, and Naruto…so shyeah…this WAS a NejiTen, NaruHina kind of thing…sorry to postpone the awesome dinner.**


	7. The Ultimate Awesomeness Plan

**Chapter 7: The Ultimate Awesomeness Plan**

**-&-**

**Later that Day…Uchiha Household…**

"You have to INVITE her to DINNER?" Neji said, aghast.

"I know," Sasuke groaned. "I don't know what I'm gonna do to that pea-brain. I can't sort out my counterpranks because I don't know what SHE'S gonna do…"

"Well," Naruto said, swallowing a piece of cheese. "You could do neutral counterpranks- that way, it'll get her no matter what."

"Whatever," Sasuke said, in a bored voice. Naruto walked over to the next window with Sasuke's binoculars and gasped.

"What?"

"TENTEN AND HINATA!"

"So?"

"WE CAN PRANK THEM! HELLO?" Naruto rolled his eyes. "All three of them are friends, right? If we prank one of them, the other two will feel their pain. MUAHAHAHA!" Naruto dissolved into a psychotic laugh as Neji and Sasuke stared at him.

"I'm with you for the pranking…but stop laughing before I sock you."

"Sorry."

"Okay, let's go with Ultimate Awesomeness Plan."

"Ultimate Awesomeness?"

"Yeah…it's lower on the safety scale and higher on the danger scale."

"Are you sure?"

"Affirmative."

**-&-**

"Tenten, wait up!" Hinata said, gasping.

"Are you okay?" Tenten asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Think about it," Hinata said in a whisper. "This is the street Sasuke-kun and _them_ live. Most likely, we're probable to fall for their pranks. Ever since Sakura moved in, we've been stepping in puddles of glue and stuff."

"Observant, my dear lady," Naruto said, appearing out of nowhere. He bowed low, sweeping out a hand behind him. Tenten looked suspiciously. Hinata blushed and remained staring with wide eyes.

"You'd better not have a dart gun, Uzumaki," Tenten said, narrowing her eyes.

"Nope, no dart gun," Naruto said in a carefree manner. He walked around Tenten and smiled at Hinata. A smile that she couldn't defy. As her face turn steaming red, Tenten scoffed.

"Stop with the flirting antics, Uzuma-aaARRRGGHHH!"

Someone had crept up behind her and stuffed a handkerchief in her mouth, and bound it with duct tape. Her wrists were immediately decked in metal cuffs and she crashed to the ground. Glaring up, the face of Hyuga Neji smirked down at her.

"Rather klutzy, aren't we?"

"YLTTLBSTRD!" Tenten screamed, but her words had no evident effect as it was half muffled from the handkerchief.

**-&-**

Hinata gasped in horror but Naruto stood in her pathway. Trying to push him aside as gently as she could, she made her way towards her friend, but Naruto clasped her wrist and snapped a handcuff on her pale wrist.

Hinata gaped.

And then frowned.

And then growled.

Oh, yes, Hyuga Hinata was no longer shy. She had overcome her infatuation with Uzumaki Naruto.

Eyes blazing, she took the other side of the handcuff and immediately snapped in, painfully onto Naruto's wrist.

Naruto gaped.

And then, Hinata gaped.

WHAT HAD SHE JUST DONE! IDIOT, HINATA! WHAT DID YOU DO! OH, MY, GOD, I AM HANDCUFFED TO NARUTO! WHAT DO I DO!

Neji groaned.

"NARUTO! YOU IDIOT! NEVER LEAVE THE OTHER END OF THE CUFF OPEN TO YOUR ENEMY!"

Hinata blushed yet again. Her cousin's sudden sense of authority blamed her even more for not having enough sense to realize that most likely, being the prankster her was, Naruto had lost the key.

Quick and insightful, Tenten grasped the concept of their sudden prank and swung herself around and kicked Neji in the knees. Using her cuffed hands, she quickly ripped off the duct tape and spat out the handkerchief.

"You always cuff your victim's hands _behind _their back, you stupid chicken," she growled. Neji's eyes flashed dangerously.

…Meanwhile, Naruto was still trying to uselessly get the cuff off. Nearly injuring Hinata, he shook his wrist vigorously while yelling for someone to get it off.

"M-My arm hurts…" Hinata said, her voice vibrating because of the jolts coming from the other end of the handcuff.

As Tenten worked to get the metal rings off of her small wrists, she let out a cry. Naruto had swung absentmindedly and then collided into the trashcans set neatly along the sidewalk. Lunging forward, he crashed headlong over the garbage cans and directly into Tenten, Hinata soon after.

Naruto expected her to leap out of the way.

Hinata expected to have her wrist ripped off.

Tenten expected for them to brake as quickly as they could.

But what NONE of them expected was for Neji to trip and smash his head into the cement ground.

A loud and resounding CRACK filled the sudden silent air.

"Oh, my God…" Tenten whispered.

**-&-**

**Haruno Household...**

"Sakura! Are you ready to go?"

"Um…yeah, hold on!"

Sakura zipped up her jam-packed purse, slung it over her shoulder, and almost collapsed from its weight. She had stored so many pranks in it that she was surprised the bag hadn't busted by now. Heaving, she made it downstairs at last.

"Coming!"

Her parents stared at her.

"Are…you alright? You seem a little…bulky."

"Oh, I'm fine," Sakura said, grinning as she clanked out the door.

Uchiha Household…

"Welcome! I'm so glad you could come!" Mrs. Uchiha said, beaming as she enthusiastically shook the Haruno parents' hands.

"This way…oh, Sakura-chan, Sasuke's upstairs in his room. That's up to the left, down four doors. Now! Let me give you a tour…"

As her parents were swept away, Sakura walked up the stairs, dragging up her bag. Glancing down the hall, she went to the left and counted four doors down. Hesitantly, she grasped the cold metal doorknob and swung it open.

"CRAP!"

**-&-**

**I left you guys at a cliffhanger…okay, well, not REALLY. But anyways, next will DEFINITELY be the dinner…and just what will Hinata, Tenten, and Naruto do about their poor pal, Neji? Gasp! Reviewwww!**


	8. Uchiha Cousins and Hospital Visits

**Chapter 8: Uchiha Cousins and Hospital Visits**

**-&-**

"CRAP!" Sakura swore.

She had forgotten she was entering a prankster's house…his ROOM actually.

She had forgotten completely that Uchiha Sasuke was a mastermind genius in prevailing with humiliating people- ESPECIALLY girls like

herself.

She had just _forgotten_.

POOMPFH.

Cake batter is usually very tasty when you can lick it off the mixing spoon just for a taste. It's a natural organic ingredient (yeah right). It's likable to children of all ages.

But NOT when it's used with tons of water and about a gazillion fluid ounces tumble down in one large piece of goo and it all hits you like the impact of a rushing train.

Oh, yes- Uchiha Sasuke was going DOWN.

She was DRENCHED. Actually, she didn't know WHAT the term was when you were covered in a sticky, flowing, and raw bubbling concoction. And at that moment, she didn't really give a damn to WHAT the term was. All she wanted to do was to find that son of a censored and wring his neck until it snapped.

As Sakura flung the wet batter out of her eyes, her thoughts were broken by an inhumane laughter tinkling out of the closet. Not hesitating to even go in, she flung her bag aside and stormed past the door, and wrenched open the closet.

Sasuke was on the floor, laughing his head off like there was no tomorrow.

Sakura snapped mentally (and physically).

"HIPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she screamed as she lunged forward and tackled him mercilessly. Sasuke's eyes widened to size of a volleyball as he tried to leap out of the way, but Sakura was too quick.

Oh, did Sasuke go _down_.

Actually, he sailed right into a basket of newly folded clothes.

But, he did go _down_.

"YOU STINKING LITTLE PIECE OF TRASH! WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO TO HADES AND BURN THERE AND DO ALL OF US A FAVOR! HUH! HUH!"

Sakura was doing her best to aim every punch and kick she could at that stupid boy who was getting nearly as caked down in batter as she was as he tried to fend her off. The batter was getting everywhere as they rolled with muffled yells of "OW!" and "CRAP, YOU STUPIDHEAD!"

But remember now, closet walls are NOT soundproof. In fact, since the Uchiha clan was so rich, they had granted their beloved son with a MARBLE closet.

Which echoes, by the way.

"YOU! DAMN IT! THAT REALLY HURT!"

"WELL, SERVES YOU RIGHT YOU LITTLE CENSORED!"

"AAAHHH! YOU'RE GETTING ALL MY CLOTHES DIRTY! AND MY FOLDED ONES TOO!"

"MAYBE IF YOU HADN'T DRENCHED ME IN STUPID CAKE BA—"

"_WHOA! AIM FOR THE LIPS, SASUKE!"_

Sasuke stopped dead.

Sakura was still angry and was currently trying to find her way out of a large blanket.

ALL six of his cousins had just arrived and were standing there, crowding in the closet doorway, trying to get a glimpse of their "adorable little cousin" with his "girlfriend".

"SHIT!" Sasuke bellowed. "Uh…I can explain!" He hastily got to his feet as globs of batter slid off of his clothes and splattered onto the floor.

"CAN SOMEONE HELP ME OUTTA OF THIS!" Sakura screamed, muffled, as she frantically tried to get out of the tangled blanket. One of Sasuke's cousins leaned over and pulled off the sheet, revealing Sakura's large green eyes and glowing face. Other than the batter, she was still pretty.

Sasuke's cousin let out a long whistle.

"You really know how to choose the girls, dude," he said, laughing as Sakura grew pink in the face.

"SHUT UP!" Sasuke retorted as he shoved all of his cousins out the door.

"DINNER'S IN FIVE MINUTES, BY THE WAY!"

SLAM.

Breathing very hard, Sasuke leaned against the door, and slid to the ground, leaving a trail of chocolate. Sakura got up, tripped and landed on the floor.

"Gosh- you're so clumsy."

"And you're ugly."

"EXCUSE ME!"

"You're excused," Sakura said playfully as she fingered her cheek.

"What's wrong, now?" Sasuke said, exasperatedly.

"I think my cheek is bleeding," she said as winced in slight pain.

"What? I didn't even punch you or anything!"

"OW! DON'T TOUCH IT!"

"I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU, DINGUS!"

"…sorry…"

Sasuke looked at it in concern. It was swelling slightly, and it looked bruised.

"It's not bleeding, but it's sort of purple."

"Is it okay?" Sakura said, worriedly. She glanced up at him and her bright green eyes glistened.

Sasuke blushed after being aware of how close they were.

"Uh…it's fine. Lemme go get a- I mean COTTON ball- I mean…yeah, that's what I meant! I'll uh, be right back!"

He ran out the door, but since it wasn't opened, he slammed into it, flushed, wrenched it open, and then dashed out. Sakura raised her eyebrow in confusion.

**-&-**

**Konoha Hospital…**

"Is he okay?"

"WHERE IS THAT SYRINGE I ASKED FOR?"

"Doctor- excuse me…"

"THANK YOU! FINALLY! WHEN I ASK FOR SOMETHING, I WANT IT DONE IMMEDIATELY, PLEASE!"

"Um…Doctor?"

"NOW GET TO WORK! WHERE'S HYUGA'S PAPERWORK! BRING IT HERE! I NEED SOMEONE TO ASK HIM HIS ALLERGIES AND THINGS!"

"Doctor!"

"_**WHAT**_ DO YOU WANT!" the doctor roared as he whipped around.

Tenten widened her eyes as the ferocious looking weirdo rounded on her, spit flying and medical files flying out of his hands. Gee, being a doctor sure was stressful.

"Is he okay?" she asked.

"Uh…"

"Oh, my God…HE'S DEAD!"

"WHAT!"

"HE'S DEAD! I KNEW IT! OH, NO…DEAR JESUS! I'M SORRY! I'M REALLY SORRY!"

"SPECIFY! WHO!"

"Um…Hyuga Neji?"

"Who's that?"

"…Uh…boy…about my age…a little taller, though…WHO CARES? HE'S DEAD…"

"OHHHH! Um…I don't know, little girl. Run along- I have things to do…NURSE! I SAID I NEED A DARN NURSE! HELLOOO!"

"Uh, doctor?" Tenten said, a little more bewildered. Was he even LISTENING to her?

"Oh, are you a nurse?" the doctor said, brightly as he whipped around and spotted her.

"What?" Tenten said, bewildered. Was he bipolar or something?

"Here—" the doctor crammed a file into Tenten's arms and pushed her down the hall.

"There- go to the boy in room 188. Ask him the questions on the file on top if he's awake."

"Uh…?" Tenten gaped as the doctor ran the other way, leaving her in a quite desolate hallway. She peered at the file.

**HYUGA NEJI, RM. 188**

"HE'S NOT DEAD!" she screamed, dropping to her knees and flinging her arms up to the sky. The secretary at the desk jumped and stared.

"CAN YOU SHUT UP OUT THERE! GEEZ, THERE'S A MENTAL HOSPITAL UP THE STREET! GO OVER THERE AND STAY WHERE YOU BELONG!"

Tenten blinked. Neji had stepped out of his ward and was glaring down the hall, but he blinked too, staring at Tenten, on the floor.

"AAAAAAAH!" she screamed.

"SHUT UP, TENTEN!" Neji bellowed. "W-what are you doing here!"

"You're not dead!" Tenten said in an excited whisper. "You're okay!"

"Duh," Neji said, rolling his eyes. "Where's Naruto? I want to find him and kill him. My head is killing me thanks to that idiot."

Tenten checked the medical file.

"Hyuga Neji…Room 188, severe concussion…should not overexert for the next 12 hours…oh, sorry, then killing Naruto's out of the question."

Neji glowered as Tenten's serene laughter danced down the hall.

"So, you're sure you're okay?"

"Yeah…my head hurts, but I think I'll be fine."

"Oh, right. I'm supposed to ask you medical questions," Tenten stated as she flounced past him. She tumbled into the room, tripping over a rug, and then landing in the chair seated next to the white bed. Neji reluctantly followed.

"Question one…are you allergic to any types of food, medicines, or—"

"No."

"At least let me FINISH the question, Hyuga," Tenten said.

"Hn."

"Question two…have you been consuming any type of drug, alcohol, overdose of medications, or—"

"NO!" Neji bellowed. Tenten raised an eyebrow.

"Are you sure? I mean, if you _are _an addict, we can get you a counselor or something—"

"AAAAARGH! You're SO impossible! See- THIS is why I hate the female population! You ALL are TOO carefree, airheaded, and you JUST DON'T know WHEN to stop with your STUPID JOKES!"

Tenten's eyes flashed and she got on her feet, crushing the papers in her fist.

"Well, Mr. Hyuga," she snarled. "It WAS a joke, for your information- and IF YOU CAN'T take that, then so BE it! Maybe YOU BOYS just have NO sense of HUMOR except for those crude pranks you play in relationships!"

"You're mental."

"Well, you're STUPID!" Tenten cried back. Neji narrowed his eyes.

Only his MOTHER could call him STUPID.

As Tenten began to storm out, he grabbed her by the wrist out of pure anger in order to get more yelling out of his system.

Of course, Tenten was a pretty lightweight girl and immediately was jerked back by the sudden pull.

Unfortunately, she was jerked back a little _too_ much. She rebounded backwards and they both fell onto the ground, hard. She landed against his chest and she saw Neji's face of surprise as he looked at her and blushed. Neither of them had expected that to happen.

"Um…sorry," Neji said quickly as he got up and went out of the room. Tenten sat there, still trying to work out what had just happened.

But the way that Neji had _blushed_.

He sure was a gentleman.


	9. Hinata’s Lesson on Being Quiet and DUCKS

**Chapter 9: Hinata's Lesson on Being Quiet and DUCKS**

**-&-**

"So, um…"

"MAN! Do you REALIZE that we've been handcuffed to each other for nearly the entire day?" Naruto said, excitedly.

No duh.

How could you NOT notice when you've got your crush dangling on the other side of you for the longest time?

Hinata blushed.

"Um…yeah, I noticed," she said.

"Here- we're at the Ramen place. Sit down!" Naruto exclaimed as he offered her a chair.

"T-Thank you."

SQUISSSSHHHH.

"HAHAHAHA!" Naruto burst out laughing as he fell out of his chair, and crumpled to the floor, bringing Hinata down with him. She had sat directly on a huge chocolate cake- and despite how much she loved chocolate cake, she kind of HATED it right now…

…but not as much as she HATED the stupid, laughing, blonde-headed idiot who was having a giggling spasm on the floor next to her.

Oh, was Hinata LIVID. She wanted to punch him so hard, that he'd land in Jupiter, and then bounce off and land on Pluto, where he'd freeze to death and no one would ever hear from him again.

But, sadly, she was handcuffed to him. Whatever she did to him, he was capable of pranking her back.

And NO WAY did she want to be stuck with him on Pluto right now.

So, instead, she angrily stood up, half-dragging Naruto with her, and then slugged him.

Hyuga Hinata, shy girl of all ages, who had adored Naruto since the first day she saw him, slugged the poor guy.

She had never felt so FULFILLED in her entire LIFE.

She stared huffily at Naruto who was nursing his swollen jaw (can you even HAVE a swollen jaw!). She blew a strand of her hair out of her face and glared at him.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" Naruto said, indignantly. Hinata gaped at him.

"WHAT was THAT for! What do you MEAN, WHAT was THAT for! Let me TELL you what THAT was FOR, bub!"

"Why are you repeating my question over and over again?" Naruto asked, confused.

"Are you TALKING BACK to me!" Hinata demanded, still flushing over how much she was standing up for herself.

"N-no," Naruto answered, "sorry."

"ARE YOU STUTTERING AT ME!"

"N-NO, ma'am!"

"SHUT UP!"

"O-Okay."

"I SAID, to be QUIET!"

Naruto was silent as he stared in fear at Hinata.

"Well, are you going to be quiet!" Hinata demanded again.

"Y-yes."

"BE QUIET!"

Naruto was silent as he stared in fear at Hinata.

"So are you going to be quiet and let me speak!" Hinata asked roughly.

Poor Naruto didn't know what to say. If he said yes, he wouldn't be being quiet, and if he didn't answer, he wouldn't be answering her question.

Boy, that was the scariest 42 seconds of his entire life.

"WHY are you TAUNTING me like this?" Hinata asked. "Is there even a PURPOSE to your LIFE, Naruto!"

Naruto opened his mouth to speak, but Hinata slugged him again.

"I said to be quiet and let ME say what I have to say!" she scowled.

Naruto paid the strictest attention to her words.

"What is it that you want from me?" Hinata cried. "Humiliation? Embarrassment? Disgrace? Shame? Mortification!"

Naruto's head buzzed with all these extra-long words.

"What is it that you want me to do! Bang my hand against the floor as I bow at your feet! Beg for mercy! Surrender! Because IN CASE you haven't NOTICED, I wasn't even the one who STARTED this in the FIRST PLACE!"

The restaurant was silent. Naruto was even MORE silent.

Hinata felt a little light-headed, but even more courageous than she had felt in a long time. She grabbed a fork from the table and using the prongs, she managed to pick the lock.

The handcuff snapped open and Naruto beamed. Hinata pursed her lips.

"There- it's not like you'll stay still while I scold you anyway."

Naruto stood there, examining his wrist, free of the cuff.

Then, he did something that Hinata thought he would never EVER do.

Naruto leaned over and quickly kissed Hinata.

Then, he disappeared.

Hinata gulped, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Her face flamed up like a tomato as fingered her lips as if to try to feel as if this WASN'T a dream.

"Pinch me if I'm dreaming…" she said quaintly.

No one did.

**-&-**

**Uchiha Household…**

"Hehehe…"

"Hehehe…"

"Hehehe…"

"Hehehe…"

"Hehehe…"

"Hehehe…"

"SHUT UP, WILL YOU!" Sasuke bellowed to his six cousins, who were laughing tauntingly at Sasuke's embarrassment.

"You like her don't you?"

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"She's hot."

"She's cute."

"Ask her out."

"Stupid- he can't ask her out when they're already together."

"I SAID, SHUT UP!" Sasuke bellowed again.

**-&-**

"DINNER TIME- OH MY GOD!"

Mrs. Uchiha gaped as Sakura stumped down the stairs, leaving a trail of cake batter behind her and the aroma of chocolate everywhere.

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT, SWEETIE!"

Both her parents and Sasuke's mother crowded around her, trying frantically to wipe her up.

"What happened!"

"I uh…tripped."

Silence.

"You tripped," Mrs. Haruno repeated, deadpan.

"Uh…yeah. Happens everyday, you know?" Sakura fibbed. If she was going to get revenge on that fat hippo, she wasn't going to seek ANYONE's help.

It was time for 'Sakura Revenge Plan' to commence.

**-&-**

"Where IS THAT MUFFIN-HEAD!" Sasuke yelled as he tried to open the door to his room. It was firmly locked, and he KNEW who did it. It was a no-brainer.

Haruno Sakura was SO gonna pay for this.

Why?

A, He needed to CHANGE out of his clothes.

B, She was the one who GOT all this gross stuff ON him.

C, He just felt like pranking somebody. Besides, it was expected of him to prank a GIRL when she was over for dinner, right? Duh.

"HARUNO! OPEN THE DOOR, RIGHT NOW!" he bellowed, jostling the doorknob.

No answer.

"HARUNO! OPEN THE DOOR!"

"What's wrong, Uchiha?" came her laughing voice. Sasuke whipped around and glared and pointed a deathly finger at her.

"Open. The door. Right. Now," he said in between clenched teeth. "I need to change."

"Oh, look at my shirt- all brand new and cleaaaaaan…" Sakura taunted as she flounced around.

"GAAAAAAAH! SHUT UP!"

"Make me…"

"You're so immature."

"Whatever! You're just JEALOUS!"

"PLEASE, MUFFIN BRAIN! OF WHAT!"

"OF MY CLEAN CLOTHES!"

"WHATEVER! I'M GETTING SOME RIGHT NOW!"

With that, Sasuke wrenched open his door as hard as he could and went in, and immediately regretted doing so. He ran straight into a sticky sheet of saran wrap and grumbling, pulled it off of his face.

Non-seeing glue.

Clear saran wrap.

Right in the door frame.

Oh, man. Sakura was a genius.

Oh, man. Sakura was laughing so hard right now.

Truly, truly embarrassing.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! MUFFIN BRAIN!" Sasuke roared, leaping at Sakura.

Squeak.

For a moment, he didn't realize what had happened. But that SQUEAK, could only mean…

A squeaking toy.

Oh, CRAP!

He felt his forehead, and to his horror, found that Sakura had glued a rubber duck to his head.

"WHAT THE- WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!" Sasuke cried, urgently trying to pull it off. It didn't budge, and when it DID, it ripped pain through his whole brain system.

"GAAAH! WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO!"

His facial expression was completely priceless. Sakura would give anything to have a camera and blackmail him for the rest of his life. It was just like she had dreamed…

Flailing arms.

Red face.

Panicked expression.

Yelling, "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!"

And…the rubber ducky residing on his forehead.

At that moment, his cousins chose to come up the stairs to call them both down for dinner…and this sight met their eyes.

They all dropped to the floor and started laughing as Sasuke narrowed his eyes and scowled.

"Haruno…you are so dead."

"Oh, like I'm scared now, duck boy," Sakura smiled.

But…he had to admit…

Dang, she was pretty good with the pranks.

**-&-**

**There's your duck and glue prank! Minus the popcorn. Next…THE ACTUAL DINNER PARTY. What's with the gross food? Ahahaha, it's more pranks, of course! DUH!**


	10. Dead Ducks, Dinner, and Discussions

**Chapter 10: Dead Ducks, Dinner, and Discussions**

**-&-**

Mrs. Uchiha smiled and brought out two lovely dishes to the dining room table. Sakura was down there as well, sitting next to her parents.

"Please help yourself to anything you'd like," she said to the Harunos. "And…um…I have no idea where Sasuke or his cousins went either. I guess I'll have to call them down again."

"Do you know where they went, Sakura?"

"Uh…um, no."

Sakura flashed a fake grin at the three adults in front of her. They bought it.

"SASUKE! DINNER!"

**-&-**

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

"SHUT UP!" Sasuke yelled for the 92nd time that night. After laughing her head off, Sakura finally had departed downstairs, leaving HIM with his STUPID COUSINS.

"Oh, MAN…" said one of his cousins, wiping a tear from his face.

Actually…they ALL were pretty much crying out of hilariousness.

Sasuke tried to bang his head against the wall in an order to obtain unconsciousness, but a resounding SQUEAK filled the air.

The Uchiha cousins collapsed into even MORE laughter.

"That…HAHAHA…girl…wheeze…is a complete…HAHAHA…genius."

"Shut it," Sasuke scowled as he stomped downstairs for dinner at his mother's call. He could have EASILY ripped off the ducky, but hey- unlike SOME people, he WANTED to have skin on his forehead when he grew up, okay?

So…you couldn't really blame him.

**-&-**

"So," Mrs. Uchiha continued, "like I was saying, it's so exciting for my little son to have a girlfriend! It's his first, you know! No one wanted to get near him because of all his pranks and trou—"

"GIRLFRIEND!" Sakura spat out, spraying food everywhere.

Mrs. Uchiha looked at her oddly.

"Um…aren't you?"

Sakura only gaped, but their "interesting" little conversation was interrupted as the cousins collapsed down the stairs, gasping for breath as they slid into their seats, still wiping their tears and laughing hysterically.

The adults stared at them, and Sakura suppressed a knowing snort.

"Oh, there you are, Sasuke!" Mrs. Uchiha said, as she started to turn over a pre-cooked turkey in a pan. "I was wondering what took you so- OH MY GOD, THERE'S A DUCK ON YOUR HEAD!" she screamed, flinging the pan up in the air out of pure surprise.

This seemed to have stopped time right then and there. Everyone stared with wide eyes as the huge, dead, bird soared though the air and hit Sasuke in his head, just off center.

SQUEAK.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

Sasuke crumpled to the floor.

**-&-**

**Tenten's House…**

"You…WHAT!" Tenten screamed.

"He k-kissed me."

"REPEAT THAT, WOMAN: WHAT!"

"He kissed me, Tenten!"

"YOU KISSED HIM! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!"

"_I _didn't kiss him! HE kissed ME!" Hinata protested.

"AAAAAH! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS, HINATA!"

"It's not like that—"

"YOU ARE CONSORTING WITH THE OTHER SIDE! THE ENEMY!"

"Tenten, listen—"

"DO YOU KNOW HOW EVIL THEY ARE!"

"But—"

"NO BUTS FOR YOU, YOUNG LADY! YOU WILL NOT SEE THAT BLONDE AIRHEAD FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS!"

Hinata sighed, but then smiled.

"And what about you and a certain cousin of mine?"

Okay, whoa. Talk about backfiring plans and hypocrisy.

"_What_…are you talking about?" Tenten said, as innocently as possible.

"Oh, please. You KNOW who I'm talking about."

"Wait I—"

"I mean, it's rather obvious that you and Neji are sharing some sort of relationship…"

"HINATA! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"

"Suuuure."

"Listen—"

"Oh, young, naïve, friend."

Tenten blushed. Hinata giggled slightly.

"But you HATE HIM!" Tenten burst out. "WHY DID YOU KISS HIM!"

"For the last time!" Hinata said," HE kissed ME! I was just sitting there, and he just…"

She faded off into her own little wonderland. Tenten gagged.

"Sakura is going to be SO pissed."

**-&-**

**Konoha Hospital…**

"You…WHAT!" Neji bellowed.

"She kissed me."

"Let me repeat that for you…you WHAT!"

"SHE KISSED ME!" Naruto yelled.

Neji gave him a knowing look. Naruto bit his lip.

"Okay, so I kissed HER. Big difference."

"The bad part is, that that IS A BIG DIFFERENCE!"

"Be QUIET! We don't want the whole world to hear!"

"But…WHAT DID YOU DO!" Neji moaned. Naruto snapped.

"ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING? I'VE SAID IT LIKE, FOUR-HUNDERED TIMES AND YOU STILL ARE STUPIDLY SAYING, 'WHAT!' AND IT'S GETTING A HECK OF AN ANNOYING QUOTE! WHY DON'T YOU SUCK IT UP, OH AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST ADMIT THAT YOU AND THAT TENTEN GIRL ARE AT SOMETHING TOO!"

A loooooooooooooooooong silence followed these words, except for Naruto's occasional panting because he was out of breath.

"We're not AT something," Neji finally mumbled. Naruto groaned.

"Great comeback, man. Great comeback."

"STILL can't believe you kissed my cousin, though."

"Oh please. You don't talk to her that much. What do you care?"

"I'm just thinking of how big the bruises will be when Sasuke finds out of what you've done."

"…good point…"

**-&-**

**Uchiha Household…**

"Sasuke, wake up, sweetie!"

"M-mom!"

"Oh, yes! HE'S AWAKE!" Mrs. Uchiha cried.

"How long have I been knocked out?"

"Oh, I'd say a good 10 minutes."

Sasuke sweatdropped. That was it? It felt like 10 days.

"But, the good news is that the turkey was still clean, and I'm cooking it right now…oh, there's the oven bell. Gotta go!"

Sasuke sat up on the couch and wondered where he was. CRUD! Sakura and his cousins must have seen the whole thing. Cursing, he slapped himself in the forehead.

SQUEAK.

Ah. Yes. The duck was still there.

Grumbling, he got to the dining room table where everyone sat.

"Hehehe…how's the turkey, Sasuke?"

"Cold?"

"Squeaky?"

"Ugly like you?"

"You sure have an attraction with birds."

"Totally. One's on your forehead too."

"SHUT UP!" Sasuke bellowed. Glaring at the table he met eyes with Sakura, who was smiling innocently.

Poor Sasuke…he paid no heed to this. But the same pranking minds go around when you hang around each other for too long.

"Hey mom! I can carve the turkey and serve the plates if you want," Sasuke offered in the nicest voice possible. Good. Sakura was oblivious to all of this.

"Oh, thank you, darling!"

Sasuke took a plate of turkey, and ahem decked it in crystallized, heavy duty salt. Then, he scooped some rice, and ahem decked it in heavy duty sugar. Then, he took a glass of lemonade and ahem squirted a few extra dozen lemons in.

The six cousins watched slowly as Sasuke brought out the plates, and as he set one down in front of Sakura, he smiled at her, causing her to flush.

"Go ahead and start," Mrs. Uchiha beamed. Everyone dug into their food, and Sakura glared at Sasuke as he leaned back in his chair. She scooped a huge spoonful of turkey and put it in her mouth. At that moment, Sasuke also put an even LARGER spoonful of turkey in his mouth as well. Instantly, to Sasuke's satisfaction, Sakura's face turned white. But it was too good to last. Sasuke felt something ice-cold go down his throat. Somehow…the turkey was FROZEN!

**(A/N: Obviously, Sakura rigged Sasuke's food as well.)**

"TOO SALTY!" Sakura burst out, and then shoveled in some rice to even out the taste.

"COLDCOLDCOLD!" Sasuke bellowed as he tried to eat all the warm rice to thaw it out.

"TOO SWEET!" Sakura burst out once more, and then downed half of her glass of lemonade.

"HOTHOTHOT!" Sasuke screamed as he drank as much water as he could. Too bad it was extra carbonated, fizzy, sprite.

"TOO SOUR!" Sakura screamed and bolted for the bathroom.

"AGACKSHACKRGASCHACK!" Sasuke choked out as he snorted up half of the bubbles. He leapt from the table and dashed for the bathroom.

Unfortunately, as large the Uchiha mansion is, the two pranksters bolted for the SAME bathroom.

The parents and cousins at the table stared as their two children fought over the bathroom.

"Get away, nimrod!"

"Speak for yourself, gutterface!"

"I was here first, flemwad!"

"Whatever! I was here first, duckhead!"

After a loud series of banging, slamming, and cursing, Sasuke emerged into the dining room hall, green and pale in the face, looking like he was about to hurl.

"Um…sweetie, are you alright?"

"I need to barf."

"GOOD HEAVENS!" The adults cried as they ran for the trashcan. Sasuke emptied his guts as quietly as he could.

"Thanks a lot Sasuke- now you're making me feel sick."

**-&-**

**Later…**

"I am SO sorry for what happened!" Mrs. Uchiha said quickly as the Harunos prepared to go. After a horrible dessert of incredibly gross revenge with dirt chocolate syrup and ice cream and brick pecan pie, Mrs. Uchiha wanted to get her gracious neighbors out as soon as possible so she could whack her son's head to Saturn.

"That's REALLY okay!" Mr. Haruno insisted. "My daughter…she's just, well, you know, been rather immature and all…"

"I think WE have something to SAY to SOMEONE'S DAUGHTER!" Mrs. Uchiha hinted loudly as she cuffed her son in the head.

"Ouch…um right," Sasuke mumbled. "Uh…I'm sorry."

Mrs. Uchiha sighed at her son's helplessness.

"I thought you were to BEFRIEND each other."

"But now, you've made it worse."

"Sasuke- you're punishment is not going very well."

"When you get home, you're in big trouble, young lady."

"Look what you DID to the poor girl!"

"Look what you DID to the poor boy! Ruined his lovely mansion!"

"Despicable!"

"Outrageous!"

"Horrible!"

"Disappointing!"

Sasuke and Sakura stared at their parents as they were being scolded.

"Whatever," Sasuke muttered. Mrs. Uchiha totally snapped and then literally DRAGGED her son into a private room where no one heard them.

Now, when Sasuke's mother snaps, she really SNAPS. Like, you can literally hear a SNAP go off in her head. And this SNAP usually leads to cruel and HIGHLY UNUSUAL punishments such as this example here:

**-&-**

_**Flashback…**_

"_SASUKE! YOU BROKE MY $100,000,000 VASE!"_

"_Whatever…"_

_SNAP._

"_AAAAAAAAAAAH! THAT'S IT! NOW YOU HAVE TO BUY NEW CURTAINS FOR THE LIVING ROOM WITH THE MONEY YOU MAKE WITH SELLING APPLES ON THE STREET!"_

_Sasuke stared at his mother. Oooookaaaaay…_

_**End Flashback…**_

**-&-**

"SASUKE!" Mrs. Uchiha roared. "YOU WILL NOW SHARE A DANCE WITH MS. SAKURA UNTIL YOU LEARN THAT SHE IS A SWEET LITTLE GIRL WITH A WONDERFUL PERSONALITY!"

Oh, yes. VEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRY unusual indeed.

**-&-**

**Lets out evil laugh…**

**Prediction contest time! Whoever makes a prediction and gets it closest to the plot I have in mind…wins! A…rubber duck.**


	11. Shall I Drag Your Sorry Butt to Dance?

**The winner is…**

_**MIMIRU-SAMAAAAAA!**_

**Congratulations, fellow reviewer!**

**And what exactly was dear **_**Mimiru-Sama's**_** prediction!**

**Here we go, as QUOTED by **_**Mimiru-Sama**_**:**

**"Yay! Ya updated! squeals and jumps around So... I'm just guessing that the next time Sasuke is gonna hit Naruto cuz he kissed Hinata-chan, and Neji blush at the mention of the name Tenten, Sasuke dancing with Sakura and blushing, Hinata trying to explain to Sakura what happen and that she didn't kiss Naruto. Hope I got that all right o.O; Anyways... Bye! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 3"**

**I DEDICATE IT TO THE WINNER, **_**MIMIRU-SAMA!**_

**Happy Birthday! (Hahaha, I know it's totally not your birthday- I just felt like adding it in there. .)**

**Oh, the by way, to Jays Arrayan- you weren't too far off either. WINK! I nominate you 2nd place!**

**To Ttoad and Indrawn- I might use those pranks…I just might…in future chapters, kay?**

**But also- THANK YOU SO MUCH to all predictors, reviewers, people, fans, readers, etc…etc…etc…**

**WOOHOO! This prediction contest was uber-fun.**

**And now for **_**Mimiru-Sama's**_** chapter, HAVE FUN! Everyone bid her good wishes!**

**(And as always, thanks for the AWESOME fanart, Tsuki-Angel!)**

**-&-**

**Chapter 11: Shall I Drag Your Sorry Butt to Dance?**

**-&-**

"M-Mom!" Sasuke sputtered out. "You've got to be kidding me!"

Oh, no. Mrs. Uchiha was SO not kidding right now. On the contrary, she was about to blow off all her steam on her poor son who had just been sentenced to DEATH.

Mrs. Uchiha flung a pointed finger, gesturing him to march out the door, no questions asked.

Sasuke complied, grumbling to himself the whole time as a servant in the dance parlor struck up _15 Romantic Songs for the Season's Love Couples._

Sasuke slapped himself in the face.

SQUEAK.

Oh, _man. _The duck was still there.

Swallowing the little dignity he had left, he shuffled over to Sakura who turned and looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"What do you want, dingus?"

Mr. and Mrs. Haruno whacked their daughter and Sakura winced.

"Um…I mean, hello Sasuke. D-Did you need something?"

Ugh. The Haruno and Uchiha kids were going on a rebellion VERY soon if this kept up.

"I have to dance with you," Sasuke said softly and shortly. Sakura's eyes bulged out of her sockets.

"WHAT?"

"Are you DEAF? I SAID I have to DANCE with you."

"Are you serious?"

"You think that I'd want to do this for fun?"

"You dumb stickface! I am so not going to even come CLOSE to d—"

Sakura sputtered out her sentence after catching the fierce glint in her parents' eyes.

"Ah…I mean, I am not even going to come CLOSE to uh…not dance..."

Keeping as far away as possible, Sakura followed a tired Sasuke onto the dance floor as everyone watched them.

The beaming parents.

The sniggering cousins.

The _more _sniggering cousins.

The sighing maids.

The chuckling butlers.

The squeaking duck.

But other than that, it wasn't a TOTAL nightmare.

Sasuke bit his lip as slowly placed a hand on Sakura's waist and one on her shoulder, but she slapped it away.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" she cried. Everyone stared at them as Sasuke grew bright red.

"We're dancing!" he hissed. "Unless you'd like to do it with no contact!"

"That would be a heck of a lot nicer!"

"Well, then that's not dancing!"

"Perfect, then!"

Sasuke stared at her, and growled.

"Just put your hands on my shoulder so we can get this three minute and fourteen second song OVER with and you can go home and I can go rest my head in a bucket of ice. Okay?"

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"GOSH!" Sakura hissed as they stepped around. "MAYBE if you hadn't been so RUDE to your mother, she wouldn't have snapped like that."

"Maybe if YOU had never come to town, I wouldn't have ever MET you!"

"Do you KNOW who you are talking to, Uchiha!"

"Shyeah- a wimpy little girl with the WORST pranks in the history of pranking."

"LOSER!"

"MONKEY BUTT!"

"HIPPO BRAIN!"

"CHICKEN FACE!"

"DUCK HEAD!"

_New Name Calling Technique: Funny Animal _**PLUS**_ Body Part._

Sakura's heart leaped as Sasuke suddenly twirled her in a circle.

"Huh?"

CRASH.

"Oh my, oh my!" Mrs. Uchiha rushed over to Sakura's aid, who had collided with a table in surprise.

"Are you alright, sweetie?"

"Uh…just a little startled. S-Sorry about the table."

"Oh, don't worry about it, sweetheart…oh, Lina! Get the mop!"

But as Sakura was being fussed over, her mind was completely silent as she stared up at the one boy she had ever danced with in her life.

Sasuke locked his dark eyes with Sakura's bright ones and half-ignored the cousins who were laughing with/at him.

Sakura's Romance Realization Number One: Don't EVER look into a hot guy's eyes ever, ever, again. Especially Sasuke.

**-&-**

**The Next Day…**

Sakura groaned as she shifted the bag of ice to her elbow. Tenten looked at her in concern.

"How hard did you collide with that table?" she said, suppressing a laugh. Hinata winked.

"Well, how hard did you collide with Neji at the hospital?"

Tenten's face flamed up as Sakura quickly sat up.

"YOU WENT TO VISIT _THAT _JERK!"

"HE'S NOT A JERK!"

"WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING THE ENEMY!"

"WELL, H-HINATA KISSED NARUTO!"

GASP.

_GAAAASSSP._

"_HE_ KISSED _ME_! WRONG WAY AROUND, TENTEN!"

Sakura's mind swam. A little too much information in four seconds.

"Whoa…"

A long silence rang out between the three of them.

"So uh…" Tenten started. "What about you and Uchiha?"

"NOTHING," Sakura said confidently. "WHY did you VISIT Hyuga!"

"W-Well," Hinata stumbled.

"Naruto started it!"

"He and Neji BOTH did!"

"And then they handcuffed us…"

"But then Naruto tripped."

"And then Neji tripped."

"Wait, didn't he crash?"

"Or something like that."

"GET TO THE POINT!" Sakura screamed as Hinata and Tenten jumped.

"And Neji got knocked out."

"But Tenten wasn't handcuffed."

"So I took Neji to the hospital."

"And Naruto took me to the Ramen restaurant."

"And then he kissed her."

"WAIT! TENTEN VISITED NEJI!"

"Well, DUH. I was already there."

"And you crashed into him."

Tenten blushed again.

"Traitors," Sakura spat after a second. "You KISSED the enemy. FRATERNIZATION! THAT TOTALLY BREAKS AND OUTLAWS THE RULES OF PRANKSTERSHIP AND SISTERHOOD!"

"S-Sakura, we didn't mean—" Hinata stammered.

"Mean, schmean. Whatever. YOU kissed that garbage!"

"Neji isn't garbage!"

"Oh! DEFENDING HIM AGAIN, I SEE!"

Hinata opened her mouth to protest with Tenten but Sakura gave them both a dangerous glare.

"DON'T YOU DARE YOU-YOU-YOU HYUGA COUSIN! HIS BLOOD RUNS IN YOUR BLOOD! AAAAAAAH! AND HE DOESN'T EVEN TALK TO YOU! I HAVE HALF A MIND TO RUN OVER THERE AND SMASH HIS FACE IN A BUCKET OF MUD!"

"NO!" Tenten sobbed dramatically.

Hinata and Sakura stared at her.

"You kisser of garbage's friend! Y-You turncoat!"

"S-Sakura," Hinata started.

"WHAT!"

"Your mother just called you down."

"Oh. Well, I'll be right back so don't you dare think of moving you kisser! And YOU! COLLIDER!"

Tenten and Hinata gave weak laughs and gazed out the window, completely ignoring Sakura now as she dashed downstairs, still ranting.

Neji and Naruto…

Wonder what they're doing now.

**-&-**

"OKAY, ON THREE- PULL!"

"OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!"

"NARUTO YOU IDIOT! I SAID, ON THREE!"

"BUT YOU SAID PULL!"

"I SAID TO PULL ON THREE!"

"OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!"

_SQUEAKRIPCRAPSQUEAKSQUISHSLD:KJF:OIEQH)(!&&$&!!!_

"Hey, Sasuke? Are you okay, man?"

Sasuke quickly felt his forehead and yelled, "BAND-AID! GIVE ME ONE NOW! NOW! NOW!"

Wasting no time, Neji and Naruto dove for the first-aid kit and produced a huge, square bandage which they smacked on Sasuke's head.

"Worst experience of my life," Sasuke muttered. "Grrr…THAT HARUNO IS SO DEAD!"

As Sasuke went on muttering and yelling to himself, Neji nudged Naruto.

"Should we tell him?"

"Tell him what?"

"You idiot- tell him you know…about…about…"

"Huh?"

"You know…"

"What are you talking about, Neji?"

"My cousin and uh…Ten times two."

Neji was the color of a fire hydrant.

"WHAT!" Naruto said, bewildered.

"HINATA AND TENTEN!" Neji bellowed loudly.

"SHHHH! DON'T SAY THE FORBIDDEN NAMES! THEY-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!"

"Well, say something to throw Sasuke off our cases- he's looking at us!"

"You say something!"

Naruto looked around wildly and out of nowhere stated,

"Neji had a fling with Tenten!"

The Hyuga physically kicked Naruto in the back of the legs, and he collided painfully with the floor.

"IT WAS NOT A F-FLING."

"Was too," Naruto whimpered.

"I _bumped _into her," Neji said, gritting his teeth. "At least I did KISS her."

"YOU WHAT!" Sasuke yelled, bolting up from his chair.

"It sort of…just flowed along…you know…"

"YOU WHAT!"

"Well, it's not like—"

"YOU WHAT!"

Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Could you say something other than YOU WHAT! It's getting really annoying."

Sasuke gave a loud groan and cuffed Naruto in the back of the head.

"IDIOT!" he spat. "NOW what do we do? Psh- flirting with the _other _side…Naruto, I knew there was always something stupid in that tiny little brain of yours…"

Naruto desperately wanted to escape Sasuke's wrath, so he blurted out the second thing that came to his mind.

"I'VE GOT A NEW PRANK! IT'S UH…INGENIOUS, REALLY!"

Sasuke lit up at last.

"WHAT! TELL ME!"

"Um…okay, how about, we write a series of fake gushy love letters and cram 'em in Sakura's locker and THEN when that dance comes up, we tell her to meet the secret admirer and then it turns out that NOBODY is there!"

Sasuke froze.

Neji raised in eyebrow. Naruto was…pretty good at this stuff.

"Yeah!" Naruto said, punching a hand with his fist. "Raise up her hopes and then CRUSH her romantic life! HAHA!"

Sasuke looked doubtfully at them.

"A-Are you sure?"

"Duh."

"You know," Neji started. "Maybe we can make it even better by making NARUTO the secret admirer, so he can pretend to like Sakura."

"WHAT!"

"WHAT!"

Naruto shook his fist in anger towards Neji's head. Grrr…

"Operation Naruto and Sakura is underway!"

**-&-**

**SURPRISE EVERYONE! Happy VERY LATE New Year.**


	12. Thy Dares, Part 1

**Chapter 12: Thy Dares, Part 1**

**-&-**

"A slumber party?" Sakura said blankly as Hinata shrugged.

"Tenten's already preparing. Just the three of us, you know."

"What's she plotting?" Sakura said, folding her arms. Hinata sweatdropped. After all those pranks with the guys, it was no wonder that Sakura's suspicion level had risen by 99.

"S-She's not plotting anything, Sakura…"

"Hm…"

"So, are you ready?"

"What, right now?"

"If that's alright."

Sakura gave a sideways glance at her parents who had been listening to the entire conversation, trying to camouflage themselves behind a door.

"Dad- I can see you. Can I go?"

"What? How'd you see me- OW. Um…alright, then."

Sakura gathered up her bag, but not before checking every single lock on her window and door. If Sasuke and his pranking jerks were to strike tonight, she might have as well barred all openings to her room.

"We shall be playing Outrageous Truth or Dare," Tenten broadcasted as the three of them settled into her warm living room.

"Uh, come again?" Sakura said, blankly.

"Outrageous Truth or Dare," Tenten said again. "It's the same basic procedure, but instead, the Dare MUST qualify a guy and basically, you just lose what little dignity you have left."

Sakura gave Hinata a glare as if it was all her fault she had dragged her into this whole thing.

"So the way this thing goes- one person is chosen with a guy, and the other two girls give her dares to perform. At the end, she'll have 1 hour to perform the dares and we must come back here for discussion."

Sakura looked at Tenten in disbelief. She sounded like a businesswoman.

"W-What if we want to do Truth?" Hinata said.

"Uh…you can't."

"What?"

"You can't."

"Oh, thanks for calling this TRUTH or dare."  
"Sorry."

"…"

"…"

"So- who's first?" Tenten, said, propping up on a pillow.

SILENCE.

"I nominate Tenten to go first," Sakura glowered. "Let's backstab her for making us do this, Hinata."

"Um…what?"

Sakura broke into a smile.

"Well, well, look- she's already blushing! Well, I think NEJI has been rather bored around his house lately…what you say, Hinata?"

Evil grin.

"Your dare," Sakura proclaimed in a powerful voice, "will be to…"

"Uh…to…"

"To…"

"Steal a pair of Neji's boxers," Sakura said in undisguised slyness.

Both Tenten and Hinata's eyes bulged out of their sockets.

"I BEG YOUR PARDON?"

"Oh, I think you heard me, Tenten."

"That's IMPOSSIBLE!"

"It kind of is," Hinata said in a small voice. "Neji's so ice cold that if you put him next to a fire, he wouldn't melt for the next three months."

"I think he's been melted halfway for some time now," Sakura winked at Tenten, who blushed madly.

"So, steal a pair of his boxers…what else," Sakura tapped her lip in thought.

"WHAT! THAT'S ALREADY OUTRAGEOUS ENOUGH!"

"Hey, you started the whole game."

"B-But…"

"Hinata you think of another one."

"Okay…how about you have to get him to buy you dinner."

"We just HAD dinner, Hinata."

"Okay- dessert then. Get him to buy you a dessert."

"You have GOT to be kidding me."

All three of them knew perfectly well that Neji would rather throw himself off of a cliff than to be seen in public with a girl at a dessert gallery.

Then again…only Tenten knew that he was on his way to having a potentially gentleman attitude.

"FINE!" Tenten bellowed. She jabbed a finger at Hinata.

"If I have to steal NEJI'S BOXERS- then YOU have to steal Naruto's RAMEN!"

GASP.

GASP.

Naruto would strangle the very neck of the one who would dare to even TOUCH his ramen.

"Yeah-" Tenten continued evilly, "when he goes to that little restaurant you two KISSED at, when he's not looking, steal it from him without being caught. THEN, you have to give him a black eye."

"WHAT!" Hinata cried. Steal poor Naruto's ramen, and then beat him up? That was a little too harsh.

"And you…" Tenten said, turning to a paling Sakura.

"You have to get Sasuke to hug you."

"WHOA. NO. WAY," Sakura enunciated, getting to her feet.

Under NO circumstances- not even if she was meeting the devil himself and he was threatening her to jump off a plane with no parachute into a volcano of molten lava and cannibalistic monsters or he would stab her to death with a spork would she EVER, EVER, submit willingly into tempting Sasuke to HUG her.

Hello, cooties. Duh. As if _that's _not a good enough reason.

She had already gotten enough of them when her stinking parents made her dance with that fat hippo boy.

"YEAH," Tenten said, her voice escalating, "and AFTER he hugs you, you have to give him a fat lip."

"A fat lip?"

"You know…punch him in the mouth and bust his lip."

"Okay, you want Hinata to give Naruto a black eye, and you want me to give Sasuke a bloody lip. What's with you and abuse?"

"Sorry."

"So, are you ready?"

Sakura hesitantly looked at Hinata who was in tears from embarrassment.

"Me neither," Tenten said in a low voice, blushing. Sakura punched the air with her fist in a sort of confidence level.

"C'mon you guys! Let's do our dares and come back in an hour! No matter what- we can't chicken out and be the chickens of the chickens like we are. We leave that to the guys, right?"

She looked encouragingly at Tenten and Hinata, who seemed just as fired up now.

"Um…okay…"

**-&-**

**Neji's House**

"Okay, Tenten. Get yourself together. You've planned this out very well, and you're not going to back down. Okay…you are going to ring the doorbell, fake Neji into opening the door and then run to the backgate and enter through the backdoor, get the boxers, and then sneak out the way you came."

She looked at the doorbell before bursting into silent tears.

"I am so dead."

After taking a few breaths, she bit her lip, pressed the doorknob, and then ran like her life depended on it. She sprinted to the backgate and in a hard effort to jump it, she ripped the cuff of her pants and fell over on the other side.

OOF.

"Ouch…"

Shaking her head and the grass out of her hair, she quietly crept up to the backdoor and opened it as silently as she could. Why the Hyuga family left this door opened- she had no idea.

Tenten heard the 'Hello?' of Neji as he opened the front door to no one, and she quickly dashed into the main hall…or what looked like the main hall. It suddenly dawned on her.

She was in a mansion.

Crud.

How the HECK was she supposed to FIND a BOXER in a DRAWER in a CLOSET of NEJI'S ROOM, when there were at LEAST 8 other bedrooms?

Tenten swayed on the spot in disbelief and then mapped out her decision.

She darted for the stairs, but to her horror, Neji was turning his back and closing the door, and…

CRAP! HE WAS HEADING FOR THE STAIRS TOO!

Tenten frantically looked around and then raced up the stairway and dived under a hall table, pulling the tablecover securely around her petite figure as to be hidden.

She heard his footsteps go to her left and die away.

Okay, that made a bit simpler. Maybe his room was to the left? Now how should she make him come OUT of his stupid room?

She poked her head out from under the table and looked on top of it.

A fruit bowl. How so very classic.

She bit her lip again and then squeezed her eyes shut.

A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

I'm SO sorry if this bowl was over a hundred bucks…

Tenten seized the bowl and tossed it over the stairs, and then ducked under the table again.

CRASHSPLATCRASHSPLATSPLATSPLAT.

Eew…probably the bananas exploding on the floor…

Tenten heard his footsteps race past once more, and heard quite audibly,

"WHAT THE HELL!"

And he raced down the stairs.

Keeping low to the ground, Tenten army crawled to the left and found herself in the biggest room she had ever seen…

With quite a large closet and a quite a few sets of dresser drawers.

Man, this guy was NEAT.

Crossing her fingers, she opened all the drawers as quietly as she could and sorted through all of his clothes.

Blue shirt, white shirt, blue shirt, black shirt, white shirt…

Geez, did this guy have ANY bright colors in his life?

She gasped as she landed on his boxer drawer. She blushed.

Blue and white. Big surprise.

"Grab one, Tenten," she hissed to herself, and lunged for a pair of plain whites.

She slammed the drawer shut, and Neji must have heard it because she could hear him racing up again.

She looked to her left and right, and then the thought hit her.

He STILL had to buy her a freaking dessert!

"Aaaghh…"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?"

Tenten spun around. Apparently, as she was secluded in her own thoughts, he had gotten up the stairs.

So she spat out the first thing that came to her mind.

"I HAVE YOUR BOXERS AND I'LL POST THEM UP ON THE SCHOOL'S FLAGPOLE IF YOU DON'T BUY ME DESSERT."

Okay…NOT the cleverest thing to say.

**-&-**

**Naruto's House/Ramen Place**

Hinata silently thought to herself of what to do as she spotted Naruto coming out of his house. He made his way down the road quite carelessly and she followed him as quietly as possible.

She flung herself behind a wall and breathed as slowly as she could.

There was NO way she could steal ramen from a guy like him. No way.

Then again…

Black eye? How was she supposed to do THAT?

Naruto yawned and sat on a stool.

"One large, please. No, wait- extra large. Yeah, extra large."

Hinata sweatdropped and prayed to herself.

"Here goes nothing…"

She crept up to the side of the open-air restaurant booth, cupped her hands to her face, and yelled,

"N-Naruto!"

Immediately, he spun around in his stool and got up.

"Huh?"

Hinata wasted no time. She flung herself towards the stool as fast as she could, seized the bowl as no one was looking, and whipped around the corner, gasping for breath.

Well…that wasn't so hard…

"Hinata? What are you doing with my ramen?"

Naruto was really the fast one, wasn't he?

He peered at her with his bright blue eyes in wonder.

Hinata's eyes could NOT have possibly been wider than they were now. Her face grew a rosy hot pink and her hands clenching the bowl were now shaking rather fast.

"Um, I just w-well, I h-had to-…I'M SORRY!" she shrieked.

Naruto had no idea what happened next. Something slammed into his eye and he felt pain rip through his entire brain as his eye sprouted a beautiful black, blue, and purple bruise- courtesy of Hinata herself as she squealed, dropped the bowl, and ran for her life.

Naruto was utterly confused…and quite injured.

Hinata was sheepishly crying and blushing all the way down the route towards Tenten's house.

But…uh…mission accomplished?

**-&-**

**Sasuke's House**

"A FAT LIP," Sakura grumbled to herself. "How do you GIVE someone a FAT LIP!"

Well, okay. She knew perfectly well, and she was about to carry out the plan right now.

But did she have the guts?

Taking a deep breath, she marched up to the door, and rang it.

It creaked open, and the minute Sasuke saw Sakura's face, he slammed the door.

Too bad that Sakura had chosen this precise moment to fire her punch.

CRACK.

"OWOWOWOWOWOW! SH#($#F)&!()$&K#)(CR&P$&#$!"

Sasuke heard the crack ring out, but he had no idea whether it was because his door had just been splintered or if Sakura had just broken her hand.

BUT WHAT THE HECK WAS SHE PUNCHING HIM FOR! HE HADN'T EVEN PRANKED HER YET!

He creaked open the door again to reveal Sakura nursing her poor fist in tears. Then, her expression changed and she fired another one, and it landed squarely on his lips…

…or should I say lip.

POW.

"OWOWOWOWOWOW! SH#($#F)&!()$&K#)(CR&P$&#$!"

Sasuke grabbed his chin in agony- GEEZ! He thought girls were weak.

Psh. Sakura crossed her arms and wore a smile.

Fat lip…check.

Now for the hug…er…this was going to be rather awkward. Better put it off for now. She still had half an hour.

"Need a bandaid for that?" Sakura laughed, weakly as she entered the house.

Sasuke looked at her in disbelief.

"Hey- you monkey girl- you just SUCKER PUNCHED me and you're SETTING FOOT in my house?"

"Not yours," Sakura corrected, "Your mother's."

"Whatever," Sasuke scoffed.

Sakura gulped.

Getting a pranking king to hug you was no her idea of easy.

**-&-**

**Ever gotten a fat lip?**


	13. Thy Dares, Part 2

**Chapter 13: Thy Dares, Part 2**

**-&-**

"Okay, Tenten," Neji said monotonously, "what are you saying?"

Tenten froze in midair of waving his boxers back and forth to catch her breath. What HAD she been saying? Was she so idiotic enough as to spout out some completely made up lie?

Okay…underwear, check, dessert…check?

Tenten bit her lip.

"Y-You heard what I said."

"Yeah, but I don't think you meant it."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, yeah!"

"Yeah."

"OH, YEAH!"

"Tenten- I'm not threatening you."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well," Tenten said, blushing. "I-I have your uh…boxers and I WILL post them on the school flagpole."

"Unless I buy you dessert?" Neji said, quizzically. "Uh…not sure if that makes sense."

"WELL IT BETTER," Tenten said, losing her head. "LOOK, HYUGA- UNLESS YOU WANT THESE UNDERPANTS DANGLING FROM THE DEPTHS OF OUR 20 FOOT FLAGPOLE IN THE EYES OF ALL YOUR PEERS, I'D SUGGEST YOU'D BE A NICE GENTLEMAN AND BUY A STUPID CAKE OR SOMETHING. IF NOT, HEADS. WILL. ROLL."

Neji had never been so intimidated in his entire life…and _that _was saying something about Tenten's ferocity when she got mad. Oh, yes. She was mad. Mad at Sakura for making her do this stupid dare. Mad at herself for thinking about putting this whole Dare game together. Mad at Neji for just not getting the point about the flagpole. Mad about making him buy her a dessert when she perfectly knew she did not deserve one.

She was also a little bit, just a smidge, a tiny, teensy, bit…

…frustrated?

Perhaps Neji noticed this as Tenten swallowed down a glance, and a choke and her nose turned pink as most noses turn pink when you are about launch into tears.

Tenten wasn't crying, but she was a heck of a lot about to, so, being the perfect gentleman that Neji was, he calmly held out his hand, palm face upward.

Tenten looked up, startled.

"Um…what?"

"Fine. I'll buy you a truffle- if that'll suffice. But my boxers had better not be on the flagpole Monday morning."

Tenten silently thanked the Hyugas for raising such a nice little kid.

"Thanks," she said quietly, and followed him out the door.

**-&-**

Hinata gasped from her sudden run and leaned against a wall, sliding down until she met the ground with relief. Out of terror for her life, she had positioned a mask over her bright face, and continued as fast as she could, down the street.

…or would have if she hadn't collided with one very important thing…or should I say boy.

Hinata literally ran directly into him, but since Naruto was so much more stronger than her, she bounced back but not before grabbing onto him for support. They both crashed into the ground, and it was so not, shall I say, a pleasant impact.

Well, other than the fact that the guy of your dreams is less than 10 millimeters away from you.

Naruto rolled over on his back and groaned.

"Ow…"

Hinata had no idea what to do. She was blushing like a fire hydrant underneath her mask, but she couldn't just get up and run.

"Hinata?"

_Oh, NO! Please Naruto-kun! Don't look at me, I'm so sorry for what I did, just don't look at me, don't look- don't look!_

"Hinata? Are you okay? Why're you wearing a mask?"

And before she could say another word, Naruto gently lifted it out of her eyes.

Well, Naruto definitely had one heck of a black eye.

"H-Hello," Hinata greeted, unsure of what to say.

"Are you okay? You don't look so well, and you're acting kind of funny," Naruto commented, rather bluntly.

"Ah…"

"Do you want me to walk you home?"

"I…I…!"

Hinata would have been in heaven if she hadn't felt so guilty about his poor eye. But she managed to spit out her next sentence.

"I…w-would like that very much, Naruto-kun," she said hesitantly. Naruto gave a sheepish grin and held out his arm for her to take.

**-&-**

**Uchiha Manor…**

"So, let me get this straight," Sasuke stated. "You come to my house, punch me in the face, and you invite yourself IN!"

Sakura shrugged.

"It's what I do- geez, Uchiha. You should know me by now."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. And then he narrowed them.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded suddenly. Sakura flashed an unconvincing grin.

"Nothing…ah, you need a band-aid for that?"

Sasuke lip had been successfully busted open and he was clutching a towel and ice to it.

"I highly doubt a band-aid's going to work, you nitwad."

"Watch it with the name calling, hippo," Sakura retorted.

"You should talk, Atomic Mouth," Sasuke spat back.

"You started it, Barfarooni!"

"You're the one who came here in the first place, Camel Breath!"

"You're the one who's ugly, Dome head!"

"Elf-lips!"

"Fongoid!"

"Okay…what are we on?"

"G."

"Geez, Gak-Face!"

**(A/N: Got that from the Ninja Turtles movie…if anyone's seen it…)**

"Well you know WHAT!" Sakura said, putting her hands on her hips and leaning in towards Sasuke.

"NO! I _DON'T _KNOW WHAT! SO WHY DON'T YOU SPILL IT FOR ME!"

Sakura flamed up and crossed her arms in defiance.

"You are SO going down."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"At least I wasn't the one who spelled my name wrong _three_ times on a penmanship test!"

Sakura gasped dramatically and pointed at him.

"HOW did you KNOW about THAT!"

"I have my sources."

"You must dig around in the trash a lot, then."

"At least I don't LIVE in it!"

"Oh, no you DID NOT!" Sakura yelled, snapping her fingers. She pounced on him, ignoring his fat lip, and tackled him around the neck. Trying forcibly to push her off, he tried to fend of all of the punches…after all, it's the golden rule:

Boys…just _can't_ hit girls. Sigh.

Well, unless they're really insensitive and they don't care. But remember: Sasuke's mission was to BEFRIEND this "lovely" little neighbor.

Ugh. He almost forgot.

"HARUNO! GEROFF ME, OR I'LL KICK YOUR SKINNY LITTLE BUTT TO CHINA!"

"HA! AS IF, YOU MORON!" Sakura yelled as Sasuke flipped her over. She kicked him in the stomach not _that _hard and stood up, trying to smooth out her wrinkled shirt.

They both stopped. Sakura stared.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

Sakura attentively touched her lips, where her coral pink lipstick had clearly been smudged off.

Sasuke immediately got the drift and bolted for the bathroom.

A rather…loud scream could be heard from there for miles. He stormed out.

"WHAT," he demanded, "IS THIS!"

There, on his left cheek, just missing his fat lips, was a bright pink kiss.

"I didn't know I had KISSED you," Sakura spat, wiping her mouth as hard as she could. "YOU'VE GOT COOTIES! EEWWW!"

She quickly dropped everything and taking her finger, started to draw imaginary lines on her arm.

"Circle, circle, dot, dot, now I've got the cootie shots," she muttered as Sasuke stared.

"…circle, circle, square, square, now I've got them everywhere…" she continued.

Sasuke still stared.

"…circle, circle, knife, knife, now I've got them all my life. THERE! HA!"

She grinned. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"My God- what ARE you? Six?"

"I am FIFTEEN, thank you very much."

Sakura then stood there, shuffling her feet. Had that whole scuffle counted as a hug? I mean, his hands _were _sorta behind her back and her hands _were _sorta around his neck…

…not to mention that big lipstick tattoo on his face…and the fat lip.

Sakura sighed. Mission completed.

**-&-**

**Chocolate Gallery…**

"Oh, my, GOD!" Tenten screamed. "LOOK AT THE PRICES! ARE THEY CRAZY! A PIECE OF DINKY CHOCOLATE FOR FOUR BUCKS! THEY'RE PRACTICALLY SUCKING THE MONEY RIGHT FROM YOUR WALLET! GEEZ, LOUISE I—"

Tenten stopped as the whole shop was staring at her. Neji smacked a hand to his forehead. Great. Way to go blow their cover, Tenten.

"Sorry," she muttered. Neji pulled out a small roll of money and Tenten widened her eyes.

"What are you doing?" she said, surprised.

"Paying."

"But—"

"Look, unlike some weirdos out there, I DON'T want my boxers hanging in front of the whole world."

Tenten grew silent as Neji paid and then handed her an open dish of those overpriced chocolate truffles.

"Aren't you getting something?" Tenten asked him.

"No."  
"Why not?"

"Hyugas have a certain balance in their diet."

"Yeah, like a piece of chocolate's gonna tip that balance way off."

"It might."

"Have you ever even HAD a piece of chocolate, Hyuga?" Tenten said, rolling her eyes in a sarcastic manner.

Then it was silent between them. It dawned upon Tenten of what she had just said, and what Neji's silence spoke.

"Oh, my, God…" she whispered, looking at him.

"YOU'VE NEVER HAD CHOCOLATE!" she screamed. Neji was usually a calm person, but at the moment, his face was as pink as Tenten's shirt.

"THAT'S IT," Tenten said, with superiority. "SIT DOWN, DUDE. YOU'RE EATING A PIECE, AND YOU'RE EATING A PIECE TODAY."

Great…she did that again…she did NOT just 'DUDE' him…no way…

"NO! I-GRPHMBPLA—"

Tenten crammed three pieces in Neji's mouth, and at a sign he was going to spit it out, she held up her fist clutching a kunai and he thought otherwise.

Slowly…slowly, he swallowed. And then gulped.

"Neji?"

"What?"

"How was it?"

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

"Fine."

Tenten looked accomplished and she smiled.

"Thank you, Neji. For dessert, I mean- for everything. Here're your boxers back…"

In broad daylight, she pulled them out of her bag and handed them to him. He went pink again.

"PUT THEM AWAY!" he yelled so loudly, that the whole shop turned to look at them again. Neji took her hand, and stuffed it in her bag.

They both stopped again.

They had touched hands for the first time.

Tenten blushed even darker than Neji, but he quickly pulled away.

"Thanks again," Tenten said, hurriedly. "And uh…sorry about that fruitbowl thing…I h—"

"YOU broke that! THAT WAS OVER THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS!"

Tenten flashed a quick grin and bolted out of the shop as fast as lightning- even before Neji could catch a last glimpse of her.

**-&-**

**YUP. THE END OF THIS CORNY, MUSHY, CHAPTER!**

**PLEASE REVIEW TO THIS HORRID AUTHOR WHO CAN'T KEEP UP WITH DATES!**


	14. Kouto and Tuna Fish

**Chapter 14: Kouto and Tuna Fish**

**-&-**

"NO WAY."

"YOU ACTUALLY PUNCHED HIM!"

Hinata was weeping from embarrassment as she held a hand to her heart.

"Y-Yes."

Tenten burst out laughing.

"Was that the first boy you've ever hit, Hinata?"

"Um…"

"Oh, and when Naruto walked to home! THAT was a classic!"

Hinata sighed dreamily as she gazed up at the ceiling. Sakura giggled.

"I don't think Hinata really regretted this Truth or Dare game."

"Well," Tenten said modestly, "I don't think I did either."

There was a silence between the three of them as Sakura and Hinata blushed.

They hadn't regretted it either.

**-&-**

"You have GOT to be joking."

"No."

Sasuke stared at Naruto's black eye with his mouth half-opened and eyes popping out his head. Neji raised an eyebrow.

"SHE ACTUALLY PUNCHED YOU!"  
"HINATA! I THOUGHT SHE WAS LIKE, SHYER THAN SHY."

Naruto shrugged. "I thought that too. But then, she took my ramen, and then socked me."

Neji gritted his teeth. "Tenten threatened to hang my boxers on the flagpole if I didn't buy her dessert."

Sasuke looked at his friends. "Sakura busted my lip and then left a kiss mark on my face. It was disgusting."

Boys…sigh. They're SO immature.

Neji flicked out a piece of paper and pen.

"Okay, First act of Operation Naruto and Sakura. The first admirer's letter."

The three boys stared at each other and lit up.

"Write, 'Dear Sakura, you are perfect beyond words'!"

"Write, 'You're so hot'!"

"Something about perfection…something to really flatter her."

"Make it believable."

"I'm trying, moron."

"Something about her green eyes."

Sasuke looked deeply concerned at this.

Neji and Naruto looked at him.

"What?"

"Nothing- except…she's got more sea foam blue-green eyes.

Naruto's laugh could be heard 20984709473 miles away.

"What?" Sasuke demanded. Naruto patted him on the back, wiping his tears.

"Man…you and Sakura are going to be a great husband and wife."

Sasuke tossed a vase at his head.

"Don't even go there, nitwad. She's the dumbest person in the world. Even my cat wasn't that dumb- and he used to bark."

Naruto shrugged.

"Just so you know, there's gonna be a Masquerade Ball in two Fridays, so like, we'd better hurry."

Neji tapped the pen on his chin.

"Your voice is forever haunting my dreams," Naruto piped up.

"That sounds like something from a scary movie, stupid."

"Your voice is forever invading my dreams."

"That sounds like a war."

"Your voice is like music to my ears."

"Too cliché."

"Your voice is pretty."

"Not effective enough."

"Your voice is like a sweet melody," Sasuke burst out.

Neji was caught off guard.

"Hm…a little corny, but from a girl's perspective, it'd be "cute", not that cliché, sounds musical…hey, Sasuke- you could found an industry of love letters!"

Sasuke stared out the window.

He wasn't sure if he liked this plan very much.

**-&-**

Sakura stretched in her seat and raised her hand to go to the bathroom. World History was NOT fun.

As she got in the hall, she turned a corner and ran smack into a boy.

…a very cute boy.

"S-Sorry," Sakura stammered. "Um…wasn't looking where I was going! Heh…"

However, the boy just stared at her, blankly.

Sakura blinked. Was he okay?

Abruptly, the boy dumbly laughed and nodded, holding out a hand to help her up.

Awed at his hotness, Sakura took it.

"So…what…is…your…name?" The boy enunciated. Sakura smiled sheepishly.

**(A/N: Okay, this is the part where Sakura starts to act kind of shallow…you know…but sensible at the same time.)**

"Haruno Sakura," she said, shyly. "What's yours?"

"What's my what?" the boy said dumbly. He was really dumb. No, I mean, really. Really dumb. As dumb as a block of cheese.

Sakura sweatdropped.

"What's your name?"

The boy thought for a few moments, before snapping his fingers, and lighting up.

"Kouto."

Kouto wiggled his eyebrows at her…in an attempt of flirtation?

Sakura giggled like a doll.

And unbeknownst to the ahem…budding romance's pair…two boys were watching around the corner.

"Do you even know who that is?" Naruto snickered as Sasuke stared with ahem…burning jealousy.

"NO," he said a little too loudly.

"Kanagahashi Kouto, also known as 'The guy who flirted with 42 girls in one day, and ended up going out with 38 of them in the next week'. The last four were part of the chemistry club and had a tournament, so they couldn't go out the date."

Naruto sighed.

"I'd have to say that Sakura is flirt contestant number 921."

Sasuke rolled up his sleeves and stomped out into the open. Sakura whirled around and glared.

I mean…glared. The heat was so intense that the metal lockers in the hallways began to melt. The lights flickered.

"I got your little pranking surprise this morning," Sakura snarled.

**-&-**

_**Flashback…**_

_"Sakura! Wake UP! YOU'RE LATE!"_

_Sakura bolted in up in bed so fast- she overlooked the stray cat that had been lying on her lap. The cat reared up._

_MEEEEEOWWWWWRRRRROWRRRR!_

_Sakura screamed. She hated cats._

_"AAAAAAAAAAH!"_

_She tripped over her bed, slammed into the floor, only to be greeted by a pool of vegetable oil and overcooked spaghetti noodles._

_She was in an oil mush._

_Sakura let out a scream of frustration, and flailing everywhere, grabbed everything in sight for support to get up._

_Unfortunately, everything was rigged._

_A barrage of water balloons came flying from every direction as Sakura tried to dodge them all, but in the end, came out drenched in oil and pasta mush and water._

_She was so not happy._

_**End of Flashback…**_

**-&-**

"Good," Sasuke spat right back. "Who's this guy?" He said, referring to Kouto.

Kouto stared at everyone.

"Oh…you're talking to me?" he said dumbly. Like I said before, he was as dumb as a block of cheese.

You know every time you bounce something on your head kind of hard, you lose a few brain cells? Well, as it turns out, Kouto was born with only 12 brain cells. So, by the time he got into this high school, he had only one left. His brain was as empty as a cardboard box.

There were only three things he thought about…and sometimes, didn't even remember:

1. Girls are hot.

2. Tuna Fish is chicken of the sea. What on earth did that mean?

3. Kouto is hot.

Yes, ladies and gents, THOSE were the three top thoughts in the one brain cell that Kouto had. Poor guy.

"YES, I am talking to you," Sasuke said, interrupting Kouto's tuna fish thoughts.

"Great!" Kouto said enthusiastically, "…uh…what was the question?"

Sakura laughed out nervously, but not before shooting a deadly glare at Sasuke, who stepped back in alarm.

"His name's Kouto," she said in the most menacing tone she could muster at Sasuke. Kouto flashed a handsome grin at her and Sakura inwardly melted.

Sasuke was boiling and would have lunged for Kouto's neck, but Naruto held him fast.

"WAIT," Naruto whispered urgently, "we can use the dumb guy for part of our plan! Obviously, Sakura's falling for him hook, line, and sinker!"

Sasuke stood up a little straighter. That meant causing Sakura lifelong emotional pain! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"…HAHAHAHAHA," Sasuke laughed, out loud, and unaware. Everyone stared at him.

Cough.

"Uh…sorry about that," Sasuke muttered.

"ANYWAYS," Sakura said loudly, "I have to get going, but it was nice meeting you, Kouto!"

She smiled cheerfully. Kouto stared after her blankly before snapping back to reality.

"Oh- was she talking to me?"

Naruto and Sasuke gawked at his dumbness.

"Who is that, what is that, and where did it come from?" Neji demanded immediately as Sasuke and Naruto shoved Kouto in front of him.

"Hi!" Kouto said, waving even thought Neji was right in front of him. "I like Tuna Fish!"

"…okay, well, he's a little on the slow side, but all in all, we can use him, right?" Naruto grinned.

Neji stared as Kouto started counting off all the girls he's flirted with that day.

"Lina…Mamori…Sara…Sakura…Cho…Sakura again…"

Sasuke grabbed Kouto by the collar.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" he demanded. Kouto smiled goofily.

"I flirted with Sakura twice to day," he said proudly.

Sasuke was going into some sort of fit as he clenched his fists and then muttered something, and then pacing around and wringing his hands, and then smacking himself in the face, and then muttering some more.

"Here's the deal," Naruto said, taking order. "Kouto takes my place in flirting with Sakura and then we dump a weekload's of letters before the Masquerade Ball. That's the night where we pull…"

Naruto stopped for a dramatic pause.

"THE mission."

Lamest name ever. The mission. Whoopee.

"Naruto," Neji interjected, "WHAT exactly is this mission?"

"Not THIS mission. THE mission."

"Okay…THE mission. What the heck is THE mission?"

"Oh, Neji…THE mission is THE mission of all THE missions."

"Shut up about missions before I punch your brains in."

"Tuna…Fish…chicken of the sea…"

Everyone stopped arguing long enough to stare at Kouto, who was currently cracking open a can of Tuna Fish.

"Uh…back to the plan…"

**-&-**

"Tenten…he was SO cute!"

"I would imagine so…"

"I mean, his hair was so shiny and perfect and his eyes! TENTEN! His EYES! If you just LOOKED at them…you'd faint."

She performed a perfect swoon in front of her friends who were looking on in amusement.

"Riiiight…"

"But the bad thing is all he thinks about is Tuna."

Sakura opened her locker a magically, a letter in the shape of a heart fluttered down and she caught, and read it.

There was a silence.

Sakura's eyes popped out of her skull.

"WHOA."

"LEMME SEE!" Tenten exclaimed. She and Hinata scanned the letter and their eyes popped out in the identical fashion.

"WHOA!"

"W-Whoa…"

_My Dearest Cherry Blossom,_

_Your voice is like a sweet melody to my ears._

_Your face is as beautiful as the moon._

_Your presence is like sunshine in the rain._

_You are perfection, Sakura._

_Meet me after school tomorrow by the back gate…I have a very important question that has been lurking in the back of my mind ever since I saw you._

_-Kouto_

"HELL YES!" Sakura yelled in triumph as she pumped her fist in the air, narrowly missing Tenten's nose.

**-&-**

**After School the Next Day…**

"Okay, Kouto."

"…Tuna…"

"KOUTO!"

"Huh? OH! MEEEE! RIGHT!"

"You are so stupid…okay, did you memorize the lines we gave you?"

Kouto looked at nothing in particular, with his eyebrows scrunched together in thought, racking on that one brain cell, his mouth opened in more thought.

He snapped his fingers.

"YESSSS! Yes, I DID, Billy."

"MY NAME IS NOT BILLY!" Sasuke roared.

"Whoops, sorry, Rick."

"MY NAME IS NOT RICK!"

"STEVE?"

"NO!"

"MICHELANGELO?"

Sasuke stared at him.

"Look, Tuna-Boy. If you want to live, I'd suggest you take VERY good care with the instructions I am about to give you."

Sasuke held out a tiny earpiece.

"Okay, this is a chip, Kouto. A CHIP. C-H-I-P."

"Great!" Kouto said, snatching it and popping it in his mouth. Naruto, Sasuke, and Neji stared in horror.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING! SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT, YOU MORON!"

Naruto whacked Kouto on the back and the chip exploded from his mouth.

"WHAT!" Kouto said. "You said it was a chip!"

"A COMPUTER CHIP!" Neji groaned. "NOW IT'S ALL WET AND GROSS!"

"A computer chocolate chip?" Kouto questioned.

"Just…computer chip."

**(A/N: Suite Life reference.)**

"IT…GOES…IN…YOUR…EAR," Sasuke enunciated. "It'll allow to hear everything we're saying to you so we can give you instructions along the way. Also, we'll be able to hear everything that you're saying to Sakura…which means…"

Sasuke grabbed Kouto by the collar, menacingly.

"NO FLIRTING."

"Sasuke," Naruto said, "He's supposed to be asking her to be his girlfriend. How is that not involve flirting."

Sasuke bit his lip.

"Right…"

**-&-**

"AAAAH!" Naruto cried. "Here she comes! OKAY! Act NATURALLY…but not stupidly, and DON'T under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES talk about TUNA."

He and Neji both shoved Kouto as he was trying to figure out which way the earpiece went in his ear. Kouto went flying out into the path and landed right in front of Sakura, who screamed.

"Oh…Kouto…you scared me for a second."

Kouto stood up, and dusted off the seat of his pants. He seemed stunned for a moment, but then flashed his trademark grin. Sakura blushed.

"Say hi, you moron!" Sasuke's voice said in the earpiece. Kouto stuck out his hand to shake Sakura's.

"Hi, you moron!" he said, jovially. Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"Did you just call me a moron?"

"IDIOT!" Sasuke said, slapping a hand to his face.

"Idiot," Kouto repeated. A warning glare crossed Sakura's face. Sasuke fumbled for an excuse.

"Uh…sorry, first time at this. I was talking to myself. AND KOUTO! YOU DON'T SHAKE A GIRL'S HAND! TAKE BACK YOUR ARM!"

Kouto immediately dropped his arm.

"Uh…" he said, "sorry. First time at this. I was talking to myself. Hehe…Kouto. That's me, alright, Billy!"

"MY NAME IS NOT BILLY!" Sasuke roared.

"Um…right," Sakura said. "W-Why'd you want to talk to me again?"

"Okay, Tuna-Boy. Say, because I had to see your beautiful eyes once more."

"Okay, Tuna-Boy," Kouto began, but Sasuke yelled again.

"DON'T SAY TUNA-BOY!"

"Um…I mean," Kouto said. Sakura was looking more confused by the second.

"I had to see your beautiful eyeballs once again," Kouto sighed. Sasuke slapped a hand to his face.

"EYES not EYEBALLS! Now you sound like a freak."

"Freak!" Kouto repeated, happily. Sakura was now downright bewildered.

"Um…get to the point, please, Kouto."

"Right!" Sasuke whispered. "Sakura- you are haunting my dreams! All I ever see is you!"

"Sally—"

"HER NAME IS SAKURA!"

"Sakura, you're haunting me in all I ever see is you!"

Sakura forced out a laugh, guessing what he said, was probably supposed to pass as romantic. She grinned nervously, getting the idea of where this was going.

"And," Kouto said dramatically, "I like you. A lot."

At this, Sakura blushed down to an apple red. Sasuke was furious.

"HOW DARE YOU SAY YOU LIKE HER! I OUGHTA GO OVER THERE AND RIP YOUR EYES OUT AND BURN ALL THE TUNA IN THE WORLD!"

"TUNAAAAAAAA!" Kouto screamed. Sakura was alarmed as she jumped back.

"T-Tuna?" she said, horrified. Sasuke recovered.

"No- KOUTO! LISTEN AND REPEAT THIS: All I ever think about is you. You are the melody to my songs, and the stars in my sky. Because you are alive, you are my breath."

"Whoa, Sasuke," Naruto whistled, "You're good at this."

"Shut up, you moron!"

"All I ever think about is you," Kouto said, "You are the melody to my songs, and the stars in my sky. Because you are alive, you are my breath."

And then he added,

"Shut up, you moron."

Sakura's blushing and flattered face quickly changed back to confused as Kouto suddenly stopped talking.

"Okay, kneel," Sasuke whispered.

"Okay, kneel—"

"DON'T SAY IT! DO IT!"

Kouto kneeled, trying very hard not to think of burned tuna.

"Take Sakura's hand."

Kouto took Sakura's hand and she smiled.

"Say: Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Will you be my friend?" Kouto spat out. Sakura blinked.

Sasuke groaned.

"NO! GIRLFRIEND! GIRL! GIRL!"

"GIRL!" Kouto yelled. "GIRLFRIEND!"

Sakura thought for a few tense moments.

"Um…okay…I guess, Kouto," she said, coyly.

Kouto grinned. All that flirting paid off!

Now…he needed some tuna before that Billy kid burned it all.

**-&-**

**God, I love Kouto. He's so dumb.  
**


	15. A Date with an Earpiece

**Chapter 15: A Date with an Earpiece**

**-&-**

"I can NOT believe you accepted that line," Tenten fumed.

Hinata and Sakura watched her pace back and forth.

"I mean, for all WE KNOW, he could be a complete- wait, he already is one- a complete IDIOT with a FISH in that overlarge head instead of a BRAIN!"

She snapped at them, and Sakura jumped.

"Did you know he actually thought that TUNA hatched out of aluminum CANS? He thinks they live in CANS, Sakura! Give me a break! Even Naruto wouldn't think something like that- and THAT'S saying something. I mean seriously- oh, get a grip, Hinata!"

Hinata was blushing like a rose.

Sakura was currently occupying herself with the ceiling pattern next to the light fixture.

"Are you even LISTENING!" Tenten yelled.

Sakura jumped back, nodding.

"AND," the girl continued, "did it EVER occur to you, for ONE second, that this could all be another PRANK!"

There was a deadly hush of silence between the three of them. Sakura had not thought of that before. Perhaps that was a main reason of why Kouto had been talking to her so weird.

"Well," Sakura said, "if it is a prank…"

The sweet little girl suddenly turned venomous with fire spitting out from her eyes.

"SASUKE IS DEAD."

Then she resumed cutesy-mode.

Hinata and Tenten sweatdropped.

The three of them sat there for a moment, enjoying the peace and quiet without the boys. Too bad it didn't last long at all.

SPLOOSH.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

"WHAT THE _**CENSORED**_!"

"Oh!"

Water bombs soared through the sudden open living room window and caught each respective girl in the face, drenching them thoroughly.

"HAHA, SUCKERSSSS! EAT MY BUBBLES!"

That was obviously Naruto.

"UZUMAKI!" Sakura bellowed. "WHEN I GET YOU, I'M GONNA PULL OUT YOUR STUPID BLONDE HEAD AND STUFF IT BACK IN THE TRASH WHERE IT BELONGS AND THEN I'M GOING TO BURN THE REST OF YOU!"

"…"

Naruto let out an awful girly scream and leapt out the window, Sakura at his heels.

WHUD.

Sakura stumbled backwards, dazed of what she had just hit.

Sasuke looked down at her.

"Uh…watch where you're going?"

Sakura narrowed her eyes.

"What are you and little blondie doing over here?"

"HEY!" Naruto yelled. "AT LEAST MY HAIR ISN'T LIKE A FLAMINGO'S!"

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"SHUT UP, NARUTO! I KNOW YOU GOT ONLY 12 POINTS ON THAT LAST ENGLISH TEST, YOU STUPID MORON!"

That shut Naruto up quite well.

"Anyways," Sasuke said, "I have a letter for you."

He held it out, lazily in front of her. Sakura glared.

"It's not a stink bomb is it?"

"Not this time."

"From who?"

"Kouto."

Tenten gave Sakura a significant look as she took the letter.

"Alright- BYE!"

Sakura took Sasuke by the collar, and flung him out the window.

"WHAT'S IT SAY?"

"Open it!"

Sakura gulped. So far, it didn't _seem _like a prank…yet.

_Sakura, Sakura, so pretty and pink:_

_You actually make me capable to think!_

_I'm always dreaming of your wondrous eyes,_

_They sing me to sleep like lullabies,_

_And so, I'd like to take you on a date_

_At Yoshi Café, tomorrow at 7:00._

"That," Tenten breathed, "was the lamest poem I've ever read.

"Hey!" Sakura blushed.

"I think I read this in a book," Hinata spoke up, "didn't they publish this poem in a newspaper? But Yoshi Café was something else.

Everyone sweatdropped. He _had _plagiarized the poem.

"What a loser," Tenten sweatdropped. "Well, are you going?"

Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"Why not?"

"Okay…just be careful that Sasuke doesn't kidnap you or anything."

RING RING.

Hinata grasped the phone first.

"Hello?"

Tenten and Sakura stared at her.

"Oh, um…yes. I mean, no!"

Tenten and Sakura stared at her. Hinata was blushing.

"But…we just did s-see you…"

Tenten and Sakura stared at her.

"Um…right here."

"Tenten and Sakura stared at her.

"N-No."

Same as above.

"Oh, o-okay…"

Same as above.

Hinata hung up the phone.

"WELL!" Tenten exploded. Hinata flew backwards.

"Um…Neji and Naruto were wondering if we'd like to join them at the park tomorrow."

"What time?"

"8 o'clock."

Tenten narrowed her eyes.

"They're UP to something."

Dun dun dunnnnnnnn…

"Tenten, get a grip."

"If they are planning something, we'll go and find o-out."

"Excited to see Naruto?"

"T-Tenten!"

**-&-**

"DON'T. SCREW. THIS. UP." Sasuke growled at Kouto, who was about to pop the chip in his mouth again.

"Alright, all you have to do, is LISTEN to WHAT WE SAY. Do NOT think about Tuna. Her name is SAKURA. She likes SWEETS. LISTEN to her, and talk in a normal voice."

"Got it," Kouto said.

"Repeat what I just said, then," Sasuke challenged.

"2 cups of boiling water, and let sit for 3 minutes. Serve when cool enough."

…

"WHAAAAAAAAT!" Sasuke yelled. Kouto put on a confused face and took out the chip in his ear.

"But that's what Barbie was saying—"

"MY NAME IS NARUTO, STUPID!"

"Oh."

Sasuke slapped a hand to his forehead.

"NARUTO! STOP TALKING TO KOUTO THROUGH THE EARPIECE!"

"…sorry…"

"Alright, if you KISS her, your head will be buried and your body will be burned."

Kouto put on a concentrated face…too many words to process! How would he ever understand it all!

Oh, so tragic.

"Go- GO!"

Sasuke shoved Kouto out into the walkway, where he ran smack into poor Sakura, and they both toppled over.

"AAAAAAAH!" Sasuke was in tears. "GET UP OFF OF HER! GET UP! DON'T YOU DARE FEEL HER UP! DON'T TOUCH HER YOU LITTLE TUNA-MANIAC! GET OFF! GET OFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!"

"Get off," Kouto repeated, still not getting off of Sakura. She sweatdropped.

"Uh…yes, Kouto," she said. "You can get off now."

Kouto blinked, and then jumped up as if he had been burned.

"STOP IT, BILLY!" He yelled, crying. "Don't burn the TUNA!"

"Well then," Sasuke hissed, "Say hello and buy her dinner!"

Kouto suddenly smiled and waved at Sakura.

"Hello Sal- I mean, Sakura! You look beautiful!"

Sasuke growled as Sakura blushed at the compliment.

"Um…thank you."

"I should like to buy you a meal," Kouto said in a fake English accent and bowing down, holding out his arm.

Sakura was smitten already.

Sasuke was bawling.

"Okay, Sal- I mean, Sakura. What would you like me to buy you?" Kouto said, looking at the menu once they were inside the restaurant.

Sakura smiled, blushing.

"Um…just a salad. I'm on a diet."

"A diet? Why?" Kouto asked dumbly. He was so dumb that he didn't even know what a diet was. But Sakura took his comment as a compliment to heart, and she was truly touched.

Yes, Sakura interpreted that Kouto was calling her skinny.

"Oh, Kouto! You're such a gentlemen," she squealed, holding her hands together. Kouto blinked.

"Uh…okay."

Sasuke was currently being restrained by Naruto and Neji.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH.

Kouto yelled, and grabbed at the earpiece that had suddenly squealed. Sakura gasped and ran over to him, and stupidly, Kouto dropped the earpiece straight into the palm of her hand.

Sakura blinked.

Sasuke blinked.

Naruto and Neji ran to go meet Tenten and Hinata.

Kouto was still yelling.

"Kouto?" she said, voice growing angrier. "WHAT is this?"

Sasuke swore under his breath right into the earpiece's microphone, and Sakura heard it all.

"…Uchiha…Sasuke?"

Oh, they were SO dead.

**-&-**

**Hehehe…cliffhanger! Please try to predict what will happen next! I love you guys' predictions! I think they're sooooooooo cute! REVIEW PLEASE!**


	16. The Second Horrific Dinner

**Chapter 16: The Second Horrific Dinner Part 1**

**-&-**

Tenten sat on the swings, slowly going back and forth and checking the clock tower each second.

He was LATE.

Hinata sat next to her.

"So…um…"

"What?"

"Do _you _think that t-this is all a prank?"

Tenten glared at her.

"Duh. If it was any more obvious, they would have probably pushed us off these swings by NOWWWWWWWWWWW-AAAAAARRGHHHH!"

Tenten flew off the swing.

"Oops, sorry," Naruto said, chuckling, as he emerged from the bushes. "Didn't see you."

"Go with your little girlfriend, Uzumaki," Tenten snarled, "before I wrench your guts out and sell them as prizes."

Naruto paled.

Neji came seconds after.

"Hi," he said, panting.

Everyone blinked. A leaf blew by…and then nothing.

"Why are you guys breathing so hard?" Tenten pointed out.

Naruto and Neji exchanged looks.

"Well…let's just say Sasuke and Kouto are going to come home with a lot of injuries tonight."

"AAAAAAAARGH!"

Everyone whirled around at this sudden screamed that echoed through the air.

"SORRYGOTTAGO!" Tenten yelled, grabbing Hinata.

"Ahhhh- w-what!"

"Sakura's angry!"

"How do you know?"  
"She screams like that. I heard her 12 times last week."

"BUT WHAT ABOUT OUR DATE!"

"LIKE I'D REALLY WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU, YOU PRANKER!" Tenten yelled behind her.

Neji felt something like a pang in his ego.

**-&-**

**Back to the FIRE BURNING Story…**

"What is this?" Sakura said calmly. Kouto blinked dumbly.

"Oh, that's a computer chocolate chip," Kouto said brightly.

Now, Sakura was a usually merciful girl. But she was feeling livid right now. THEY HAD PRANKED HER. PLAYED WITH HER EMOTIONS. LED HER ON THE WRONG PATH OF ROMANCE. THEY HAD CONTROLLED HER LOVE LIFE AND DATE WITH A HOT GUY! HOW DARE THEY!

Sakura put the earpiece next to her mouth and bellowed,

"UCHIHA SASUKE YOU SON OF A FLOWER! HOW DARE YOU PRANK ME! HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH MY EMOTIONS! YOU LED ME DOWN THE WRONG PATH OF ROMANCE! YOU CONTROLLED MY LOVE LIFE AND A DATE WITH A HOT GUY! HOW DARE YOU!"

From that day on, Sasuke was deaf in his left ear.

Just kidding.

But he was scared out of his pants.

"WHERE ARE YOU?" Sakura demanded.

"W-What?"

"WHERE ARE YOU FREAKING HIDING!"

"T-Turn around."

Sakura whirled around so hard, her purse flew around and knocked Kouto in the head and he fell to the ground, unconscious. Uncaringly, Sakura stepped over him and walked straight up to Sasuke who had appeared.

She slapped him.

The whole restaurant went even stiller that still. Like, still still. Ultra still.

Sakura wrenched the piece out of her ear and threw it at him. He didn't pick it up. It wasn't funny anymore.

Okay, yeah, it was hilarious, but still. She was mad.

"WHAT do you WANT from me?" Sakura cried. "Do you want me to grovel at your feet? Be your servant? Embarrass me? BECAUSE YOU'VE ALREADY DONE THAT PLENTY OF TIMES BEFORE."

Sasuke winced.

"What do you WANT!"

Sasuke blinked.

What _did _he want?

Did he know?

Duh, he knew. But he didn't know. That make sense?

Digging deep down under his heart and maybe at the pit of his stomach, he knew want he wanted.

And she was standing right in front of him.

But he hadn't realized that yet.

Give him time now, guys.

"Uh…"

Sakura was standing there, shaking. Her eyebrows were wrinkled together in frustration and there wasn't a trace of laughter anywhere on her face.

"I have to go," she said calmly, picking up her purse she had dropped.

"Tell Kouto I dumped him."

And with that, Haruno Sakura walked away. But not before elbowing Sasuke in the stomach, and kicking him right after.

Sasuke collapsed to his knees. Kouto stirred.

"Whoa…Billy! Where's the tuna, eh?"

**-&-**

**2 Days Later…**

"Doctor…my heart really hurts."

"Um…"

"It feels strange. Whenever I look at her now, I feel…something sad."

"Uh…"

"Is there a word for this?"

"Guilt? Oh, and um…"

"Ah, guilt. I remember it well. But why her? Why Sakura?"

"I'm not—"

"And whatever will I do it she doesn't forgive me?"

"HEY! I'M A REAL ESTATE AGENT, MAN. GET A LIFE."

Sasuke blinked.

"OMIGOD! I'M SEEING THE TUNNEL! THE LIGHT! I…I SEE ELVIS!"

"SHUT UP, YOU MORON! I SELL HOUSES, NOT BRAINS!"

Oh.

**-&-**

**5 Days Later**

"Sakura? Are you okay?"

Mrs. Haruno gently patted her daughter on the shoulder. Sakura growled, and her mother backed away slowly.

"She's been in bed for days," she hissed to her husband, who was wearing an army hat.

"Hon- you'd better stock up on those rations. World War III coming up in a few days."

Mrs. Haruno took out a Barbie- one of the last few treasures of her young Sakura before she turned into a teenager. A…very…emotional teenager.

"Sweetie, here's your doll. Even though Barbie may be more perfect than any woman existing in the world, I'll bet she's still got your charm, sense of humor, and—"

Sakura grabbed Barbie in her frilly dress and sat up, bright and awake.

"THAT'S IT! I GOT IT, NOW, MOM! THANK YOU!"

She ran out of the room, screaming into her phone, "TENTEN! I NEED your brother's baggy pants and some sunglasses- NOW!"

"A dinner."

"Yes."

"T-Tonight!"

Mrs. Uchiha grinned at her son.

"No worries about going over to invite them- I fellytoned them yesterday!"

"You mean, telophoned," Sasuke corrected, gritting his teeth in pain…of ego. That stupid doctor…I mean, real estate agent, hadn't helped AT ALL.

"Just the Harunos and us?"

"No, just Sakura."

Sasuke spit out the gum he had been chewing.

"W-WHAT!"

"Of course, dear."

"US TOO!"

With a loud crash, all of his cousins barged through the front door, followed by his grandparents and four aunts and uncles…and a dog named Spot and a cat named Whiskers. What clever names.

"THAT IS NOT JUST _US_! THAT'S OUR WHOLE FAMILY! THE ONLY THING WE'RE MISSING IS GREAT-GRANDPA, AND HE'S ALREADY DEAD!"

Everyone gasped and quickly clapped their hands together and prayed at this sudden outburst.

_"What did you say?" _came a voice from above. Sasuke quickly dropped to his knees.

"Uh…sorry, Great-Grandpa. You-uh…you rest in peace, now."

_"Good boy."_

"But MOM! C'mon…this is WAY too many people."

"It's only a few dozen…dozen," Mrs. Uchiha, said conversationally.

DING DONG.

"Oh, she's here!"

The door flew open.

The cousins dropped their jaws. The aunts and uncles dropped their jaws. The grandparents rasped for breath and gasped.

"YO! WHATUP MY HOMEY!"

A sudden boombox sidewalk jam seemed to pop into Sasuke's mind as Sakura walked forth, sunglasses, BAGGY pants, an oversized shirt that said 'SASUKE STINKS' in sharpie, and a black hat which she wore backwards, covering all of her pink hair.

"YO, DAWG- YOU NEVER CALLED ME, LIKE, BACK, MAN," Sakura said in a slight-rap tone. She punched Sasuke in the arm, playfully, but it kind of hurt.

"What are you doing!" Sasuke hissed. "Get out of here!"

Sakura suddenly stopped and blinked, tossed off the sunglasses, the hat, the pants, and the shirt, and underneath was a cheerleading top with an unmatching frilly pink skirt.

"AAAAAAAH!" she screamed. "UCHIHA SASUKE! YOU'RE SO MUCH CUTER IN PERSON! I LOVE YOU!"

Sasuke paled as Sakura threw her arms around his neck and hugged him until his ribs cracked.

"Sweetie, you didn't call," Sakura said, frowning, as she applied another layer of lip gloss and mascara.

"Haruno," Sasuke growled.

"Call me sweetie," Sakura insisted.

"Haruno!"

"Call me sweetie," Sakura said again."

"HARUNO!"

"Call me sweetie," Sakura said, nonchalantly as she threateningly held up the stick of lipgloss to his face.

"S-S-Sweetie," Sasuke growled.

"What do you want, honey-bunch?" Sakura said, developing a milky-sweet tone of voice that made Sasuke blush and the whole family gape and laugh.

"Get out o—"

"of the hall and go into your BEDroom!" Sakura shrieked, clapping her hands to her heart.

The family gasped at once.

"W-WHAT! THAT'S NOT WHAT I—"

"Unless you think I'm deaf or something," Sakura blinked, innocently, the family glaring at Sasuke for saying such a thing.

"W-WHAT! I'M SO CONFUSED!"

"Alright," Sakura giggled madly, "I'll be…_waiting_," she said, before turning on her heel and skipping upstairs, still giggling.

Sasuke paled. He was now a dangerous white.

"Oh, #$&#!" he yelled.


	17. Brand New Porch Light

**Chapter 17: Brand New Porch Light**

**-&-**

Sasuke burst through his door, but not before testing for another bucket of sludge like he had pranked Sakura last time.

No sweat. No trap.

"HARUNO!" he roared as he stomped in.

"YO! DAWG! LIKE, YOU'RE A BOXER GUY?" Sakura said, back in her baggy jeans once more.

Sasuke blinked. What just happened here? Wait a minute, she had his boxers!

"AAAAAAAAARGH!" he roared. "GIMME THEM!

"DUDE!" Sakura said in her rap tone, as she skillfully dodged Sasuke's oncoming attack. "You like- need to chill."

"You need to chill, Haruno!" Sasuke growled as he lunged forward again.

"Look, man," Sakura said, pulling up the rather baggy pants, "I have no idea what you're talkieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!"

Sasuke had grabbed her ankle and was now hanging perfectly upside down, hat askew.

How Sasuke was _this _strong was beyond her.

"Give. Me. The boxers," Sasuke ordered.

Sakura was still swaying upside down precariously.

Sakura let go of the boxers and they drifted to the floor.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke sighed.

Even though upside down, Sakura's face still showed a pretty happy expression.

Sasuke blinked.

All of a sudden, Sakura seemed quite…

…_alluring_.

NO WAY, MAN. YOU DO NOT WANNA GO THERE. WHO KNOWS WHAT THIS GIRL HAS UP HER SLEEVE. DO _NOT _GO THERE. DO _NOT!_

Sasuke stared at her and she stared back…quite blankly.

Huh. Whaddya know.

Sakura had some amazing eyes.

"Um…Sasuke?" Sakura said, awkwardly. "Can you put me down?"

Sasuke's snap back to reality was faster than a flashlight. He dropped Sakura like a rock and she landed flat on her back.

"How gentle," she muttered, sarcastically.

"HEY SASUKE! I HAD NO IDEA YOU HAD A _GIRLFRIEND!_"

The cousins were back.

Insert screechy, scary violin number here

As it turned out, the dinner went politely well…but that was all the more torture for Sasuke. He would have immediately preferred if Sakura had beaten the living daylight out of him and then they went back to their normal pranking routine…

…but she didn't say a word to him at all during dinner.

…Except to pass the salad bowl…

…but other than that, none.

Sasuke felt the strange feeling in his stomach grow bigger.

Sakura certainly put on a happy air, as she conversed with his entire family, even all the cousins and air-wanting grandparents…she seemed pretty okay the whole dinner.

But Sasuke was going to blow anytime.

He seriously wished she could just say _something _to him. Punch him. ANYTHING!

But at last, when the dinner was over and Sakura stepped out the door, Sasuke saw her in a completely different light.

No, really. They had just installed a new porch light yesterday.

But, metaphorically speaking too, a completely different light.

She was pretty now.

Her personality was suddenly more charming than it had been 5 days ago.

She seemed…flawless.

But unfortunately, having an advice-time with Naruto and Neji SO did not help.

**-&-**

"Dude," Naruto said, seriously, "you're in LOVE."

"I AM NOT!" Sasuke yelled back. "PULL!"

Neji tossed another rock into the air and Sasuke fired the rifle, hitting the rock dead on. It shattered into pieces, hitting the ground in pebbles.

**(A/N: To yell PULL! means to launch another target for the shooter to shoot.)**

Naruto sat up from his seat on top of the car roof.

The three had illegally driven his car in the middle of nowhere and they were now illegally shooting rocks to get all that pent-up anger inside of Sasuke, out.

"I'm pretty sure you are," Naruto said. "I mean, she _is _ignoring you now, so of course it's natural."

"THAT WOMAN IS THE LAST PERSON I'D EVER DATE IN THIS WORLD," Sasuke bellowed. "PULL!"

Neji sighed and tossed another rock.

BAM.

Sasuke cocked the gun, fired, and then glared at Naruto.

"What makes you think I'm in love with her!"

Naruto exchanged looks with Neji.

"Well, for starters, it's a classic story."

"What? PULL!"

BAM.

"Boy meets girl, girl hates boy, boy hates girl, boy's best friends get crushes on girl's best friends, and the only ones who don't get along are boy and girl."

"That doesn't make any sense. PULL!"

BAM.

Naruto continued.

"Boy does something to infuriate girl, girl takes it differently than boy expected, girl begins to lose interest in boy, and boy suddenly lets out the bottled-up crush on girl and realizes it's too late."

Neji smirked as Sasuke blushed.

"You know, it's not every day an idiot like Naruto has something to say that's worth listening to."

Sasuke put the rifle down and clenched his fists.

"Besides, all you have to do is apologize."

"I CAN'T apologize," Sasuke snorted, "SHE'S the one who—"

Sasuke stopped when he found both of them were staring at him, eyebrows raised.

"Okay…maybe it was a little bit my fault…"

Sasuke looked at them again.

"Okay…maybe it was ALL my fault, but…"

Naruto grinned and picked up the rifle.

"That's a starter," he said, shrugging.

"PULL!"

BAM.

**-&-**

Sasuke never drank. Alcohol, that is.

He never liked it. He thought he never would.

But suddenly, the wine rack in the dining room looked very, very, appealing.

He spent the rest of the day on his driveway, staring up at the sky, and pretty much doing nothing.

Except consuming two bottles of red wine.

His face was flushed and everything looked blurry.

"Whoa…I have twenty fingers," Sasuke muttered to himself as he held his hands up in front of his face.

Things were going quite well.

…Until Sakura decided to check the mail at that time.

At first, she had half a mind to simply walk back in the house and ignore him, but he was staring at his hands.

…for more than a full minute.

She sighed. Better make sure he's not dead.

"Uchiha?" She called out across the yard.

Sasuke dropped his hands and his head flopped over to look at her.

"Whoa…two Sakuras," he muttered, uncorking another bottle.

"Sasuke?" Sakura said, now officially worried.

She dropped the mail and quickly walked over to him. She crouched down, feeling his forehead.

"You're drunk," she said, bemused.

"No, I'm not," Sasuke said automatically, after hiccupping. A small smile crossed Sakura's face and she helped him sit up.

"I think you've had quite enough wine," she said, gently, easing the bottle out of his hands.

Sasuke looked at her and she slightly blushed.

"You know," he said, slowly, "You're really pretty."

Sakura didn't say anything.

Sasuke continued in his slurred voice.

"But," he said, "too bad you hate me now. I could've apologized a reaaaaaaaally long time ago. But I was waaaaaay too scared you'd hate me or…or something…"

Sakura swallowed.

"Um," she said, "You're more drunk than I thought…ah, why don't you go home…erm…it's only a few feet away…"

"Nope," Sasuke answered her, popping his letter 'P'.

But he got up anyway, and immediately fell.

Sakura grabbed his shoulders and put one of his arms around her.

"Okay…I think you really should get some sleep, now."

"Nope," he said again, but did the total opposite and let Sakura lead him into the house.

Sakura sighed and blew a strand of hair out of her face.

Even hating him, she had to admit.

Sasuke was rather cute when drunk.

"Okay," she whispered. "Up the stairs, now. One at a time."

It was like holding a baby's hand and teaching him how to walk. Sakura had a firm grip on his arm around her shoulder and she steadily led him up the stairs.

They didn't notice the half dozen camera flashes go off behind them.

"You know Sakura," Sasuke said, after sneezing. "You're not that bad."

"Well, you aren't either," Sakura said, playfully grinning.

"You know why I was always pranking you?"

Sakura was only half-listening. She was intent on getting Sasuke safely into his room without tripping on the fancy carpeting.

"Because I liked you."

Sasuke wasn't looking at her anymore; his eyes were closed, but Sakura stared at him as if he was a completely different person.

WHOA! IS THIS WHAT A BOY IS LIKE WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK!

…just kidding.

Sakura's eyes were wide and she swore her heart stopped mid-beat.

"I think you're just saying that," Sakura said softly, letting go of his arm.

Sasuke dropped onto his pillow like a sack of potatoes.

"No…I don't think so," he muttered.

Sakura pressed her lips together.

"Well…feel better," she said, trying to laugh the whole situation off. She really was ready to high-tail it outta there, when Sasuke blinked.

"You're leaving?"

Sakura stopped and turned around. He was looking at her, and his slightly bloodshot black eyes were half open. He looked ready to fall asleep.

"Um…"

What could she do? She felt to nice to leave…but he'd been such a jerk/moron/spitwad/idiot/bimbo…

…but she was feeling extremely guilty and smitten right now.

"O-Of course not," she said quickly.

She walked over, and dropped over on the left side of the bed, sighing.

They both stared at the ceiling for a moment.

"Yeah…I did like you. I even called that real estate agent…haha…"

Sakura looked at him, bewildered. What real estate agent?

**(A/N: Refer to chapter 16 for the agent.)**

But Sasuke was already asleep.

**-&-**

**On a sidenote:**

"Uh, honey?" Mr. Haruno said to his wife. "What are those bottles of wine doing in the Uchiha's driveway?"

"Probably the same reason someone threw our mail all over the yard. Sheesh."

**-&-**

**HAHAHA. Wasn't that FUNNY? Hahaha.**

**No.**

**Yayyyy…fluff moment…I know, I know, you'd probably die after 2 bottles of wine for too much alcohol consumption, but I wanted to make it exaggerated. I just thought it was a sweet moment for them to spend a little quiet time together…Sasuke nearly unconscious and Sakura as a caretaker.**


	18. Is This What You Call a Happy Ending?

**Chapter 18: Is This What You Call a Happy Ending?**

**-&-**

Tenten furiously flipped through every single page of the magazine she was holding, each flipping with such force that it tore the page until the magazine was in shreds.

FLIP.

TEAR.

FLIP.

TEAR.

"Tenten," Hinata said, worriedly, "are you alright?"

"NEJI," she said shortly, "IS A CONCEITED EGOMANIAC who as NOTHING in common with me except we'd like to KILL EACH OTHER!"

"W-What happened?"

Tenten narrowed her eyes.

"He came at my door this morning to apologize- or I THOUGHT he was going to apologize, when all of a sudden- he slams a pie right in my face! And not just those dough-y ones- those stick icing ones where it takes you a frickin' three hours to get out of your hair! AND some got in my eyes and now they're all bloodshot!"

Tenten shoved her face in front of Hinata's to emphasize the redness of her retinas.

"O-Okay…"

Tenten sighed.

"I don't know- sometimes I think Neji's really sweet and such a gentlemen…"

She slammed her fist into the ground.

"…until he turns into some backstabbing, pranking, son of a—"

"I get the point."

"Right."

The brunette blew her hair out of her face and landed on the couch. "Are you going to the masquerade ball tonight?"

Hinata didn't answer- just blushed.

"Oh…" Tenten said slyly. "You ARE?!"

"N-Naruto asked me yesterday."

Tenten grinned, and then sighed.

"At least _some_ romances go right."

Hinata gave her a sympathetic look. "I'm sure you and Neji will—"

"Eh, I hate that guy," Tenten said, bluntly, waving her hand. Hinata sweatdropped and picked up her purse, a brilliant idea springing upon her.

"I-I have to go somewhere- but maybe I'll see you tonight? At the ball?"

Tenten snorted. "Not likely."

Yeah.

Not likely.

**-&-**

"Oooooooooooooowwww…"

"Geez- how much wine did you DRINK?!"

"Oooooooooooooowwww…"

"Seriously- GET A GRIP!"

"Oooooooooooooowwww…"

BONK.

"SHOOT! NARUTO! I HAVE A KILLER HANGOVER AND THAT IS NOT HELPING!"

Sasuke was vomiting everything he had eaten and drank from last night into a bucket and towel. And Naruto's punch just then did not make it any better.

"Gross…"

Naruto rolled his eyes and pressed an icepack to his friend's head.

"No loud noises, please," Sasuke groaned.

DING DONG.

"DAMN IT!" Sasuke cried, falling to the floor. "I'm soooo dead…ugh…"

Naruto looked at Neji. "Can you get the door?"

"Sure."

Neji got up and opened the front door to face a very shy-looking Hinata.

"Hinata?"

"H-Hey."

Neji stared.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were anti-social."

Hinata flushed.

"Um…Tenten was looking for you," she fibbed.

Neji raised an eyebrow.

"Tenten?"

"Yes."

Okay, this was weird. He hadn't talked to his cousin in years because they hated each other…or so he thought…and now the girl he hates was to talk to him?

Weird.

"Oh, and I heard about Sasuke's hangover- this should help."

Hinata handed him a can of PediaSure.

**(A/N: PediaSure is kind of like this sweet milk stuff that supposedly has a lot of vitamins, minerals, fiber and it's supposed to help hangovers. I wouldn't know though- I just read it somewhere…)**

Neji stared again.

"Uh…thanks."

"S-So Tenten should be by here later on."

"Fine."

Hinata fled from the doorstep. Hopefully, her brilliant plan didn't go awry.

Yup, that was pretty weird.

"Who was that?" Naruto chirped as Neji closed the front door.

"Cousin," Neji said, monotonously, tossing a can at Sasuke. "Drink it up. It's supposed to help."

Sasuke downed the can in one gulp.

"Eh…maybe a little."

Naruto stared as Neji turned and walked out the front door.

**-&-**

"Okay, we're at the store, now. You don't have to squeal in protest anymore, geez. How about this dress?"

"Um…"

"This one?"

"N-No."

"This one?"

"NO!"

"Oh my GOD! THIS ONE! YES!"

"NO!"

Sakura frowned as she dropped the rather short cut pink dress she had been holding in her hands.

"No offense, Hinata, but you're sort of pale. We can't get you a white dress, and we definitely can't get you a black one either. They contrast so much- but that blows because your hair's almost black and your eyes are almost white."

"Um…how about something more simple? Like—"

"RED! Naruto would LOVE you in red!"

"…more like orange."

"EW! HINATA IS NOT GOING TO WEAR AN ORANGE DRESS TO THE BALL."

Even though they were kind of insulting Naruto, Hinata had to agree. If she wore orange with her black hair- it'd be like Halloween.

Sakura placed a finger on her lip, still thinking.

"How about…yellow?"

"Ew! Like, laser yellow?"

"No…something soft. Buttercream…daisy…pale?"

Tenten pulled a chiffon dress off the rack. "This one?"

"That's good!"

Hinata considered as she held the dress in front of her, looking in the mirror.

"This could work…" she said, swaying around.

"HECK yes it could work! You look so hot that—"

"I think you should stop before she faints of embarrassment," Tenten said, bemusedly.

Sakura smiled. "You look really nice, though, Hinata."

"Thank you," she replied quietly.

"Hey, Sakura?"

"Yes?"

Tenten folded her arms.

"You may be putting on this whole cheerful mask right now, but something's bothering you- care to share?"

Hinata raised an eyebrow. Sakura blinked.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Sure."

"Really," Sakura shrugged.

"Sasuke lives right next to you," Tenten pointed out. "We know you know he got drunk."

"Wait- what makes you think that I even know that you know I know he got drunk?!"

"Because Naruto says Hinata knows that Sasuke got drunk so that must mean that you know something we don't know about you knowing that Sasuke got drunk."

"…"

"Huh?"

"Whatever," Tenten said hastily, not really knowing what she'd just said either. "Just spill."

Sakura rolled her eyes. Might as well.

Turning around slightly, she spotted a box of wigs in the corner.

"Excuse me," she asked the sales clerk, getting an idea, "how much are those?"

"Free- they're out of season and we're getting a new shipment soon."

Tenten raised an eyebrow.

"Free? Really?"

"Sakura- what are you planning?"

Sakura disappeared behind a curtain, with an armful of wigs.

Hinata blinked, suddenly remembering something.

"Tenten! My cousin wants to meet you! Right now!"

Tenten looked at her for a moment and burst out laughing.

"Neji? Wants to see me? Yeah right- he probably rigged the door or something—"

"Tenten!" Hinata said earnestly. "I think he really sounded apologetic- you should go see him! Really!"

Tenten shrugged.

"I'll think about it."

But Hinata had had enough. Taking her purse, she whacked Tenten in the arm with surprising force and the girl stared at her like she was crazy.

"Hinata! Ow!"

"GO!"

"Ow- okay, okay…!"

Never defy the demands of a shy girl gone aggressive.

**-&-**

An hour later, while Hinata sorted through the dress she had bought, the doorbell rang.

She opened the door, learning to be precautious at first.

"HelloOOOEEEEEEEKKKK!"

Hinata slapped a hand over her mouth and blushed in embarrassment.

Naruto stood in the doorway, raising his eyebrow.

"Hinata?"

"S-Sorry…"

Naruto coughed slightly, shifting nervously from foot to foot. It was awkward.

"Um…here."

Sticking out his hand, he shoved a box in her open palms.

It was a corsage- half dead, and surprisingly, orange.

Hinata was at a loss for words as Naruto rambled on.

"Orange's my favorite color," Naruto explained. "And I bought a whole bunch and dyed them- you know by sticking them in orange water, but then I had used orange dye, which kills flowers, so even though they all turned out pretty bad, this one was the best, and what I'm trying to say, or ask you, is maybe, if you still wanted to er, go to the Mas—"

"Yes!" Hinata yelped, then clapping her hands over her mouth again.

Naruto blinked.

"Really?"

Hinata cautiously opened the box and took out the dead orange corsage. It limped sadly in her palm.

"Er…I can buy you a better one now, if you want- this one's a little—"

"A-Actually," Hinata stammered, "I'd like to wear this one."

Naruto blinked as Hinata slid the flower over her wrist, examining.

"Thanks, Hinata."

**-&-**

Tenten was stopped by a surveyor as she set step on Hyuga's property.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

The surveyman was young- probably no older than twenty.

"Yes, miss. Just a little survey- no harm at all. And I'll even throw in some extra tickets for the movie premiere coming up on—"

"That's alright," Tenten said, uneasily. "I'm just here to see someone."

"No, no. I assure you- just this way and it'll take just ten minutes."

"I said n—"

"WHAT are you doing on my property?"

Tenten looked up to see Neji, standing in his doorway, glaring at the surveyman standing too close for comfort near Tenten. She took the opportunity to skip away and Neji walked forward, picking up the surveyman by the collar.

"Get off the sidewalk. I don't want to see your face here again, or I'm calling the police."

The poor surveyman ran away.

Neji blinked and then hurriedly cleared his throat. "Oh. You're here."

Tenten narrowed her eyes.

"What do you want?" she demanded.

Neji blinked.

"What do _I _want? What do_you _want?"

"You're the one who wanted to see me."

"_You're _the one who wanted to see _me_."

"Oh, stop being an egomaniac and just spit out whatever you wanted to tell me."

"What are you taking about?! YOU stop being so stubborn!"

"YOU!"

"No, YOU!"

Tenten drew back, ready to bite his head off.

"WHY did you call me out for?!"

"YOU'RE the one who called ME out!"

"DID NOT!"

"DID TOO!"

"Who told you to come here?!"

"Who told _you_ to come here?!"

"Hinata," they both said at the exact same time.

Both sets of eyes widened and then narrowed.

"Wow…I never knew she was such a sly little—"

"Me neither."

A beat passed.

Tenten took quick advantage.

"Whatever- I'll bet you were _pleased_ to see me at your door."

"More like disgusted."

"Denial, I see."

"Am not!"

"Are so!"

Neji leaned forward. "I wouldn't want to see your face if you were the last animal on earth!"

"Sure you wouldn't," Tenten smirked. "I saw the way you looked at me when I first came."

"Whatever," Neji said, falling deeper and deeper into the game.

"Admit it, Neji. You LIKE me!" Tenten was surprised at the gall she suddenly had.

"DO NOT!"

They both sounded like children.

"Yes, you do! THAT'S why you almost beat up that survey guy earlier! You were…JEALOUS!"

Tenten almost screamed out the last part.

Neji mock gasped.

"I WAS NOT!"

"Yes you were! You were JEALOUS!"

"I WAS NOT!"

Tenten took a daring step near him and smirked.

"Prove it."

And that was how Neji wound up grabbing her by the shoulders and kissing her on the lips- not totally the dreamy fairy tale kiss Tenten had yearned for forever, but still pretty romantic.

Tenten was half dazed and half thrilled.

They both made a mental note to thank and/or strangle Hinata later on.

**-&-**

**Masquerade Ball, School Gym**

"I can believe you made me come," Sasuke grumbled, hands stuffed in the pockets of his tuxedo.

Naruto walked over cheerfully, snapping a Masquerade mask over his blonde head. He handed on to Sasuke, who ignored him.

"Dude- your hangover's done with," Naruto said, "We force fed you twelve cans of PediaSure- you're alive and kicking."

"I still don't know why we're here," Sasuke grumbled again.

Naruto looked at him.

"Don't tell me you forgot my whole 'MISSION' speech."

"Who could? You said the word 'mission' about thirty times."

Naruto snorted. "It was only seven, for your information."

"Whatever."

"Remember," Naruto said, pulling him down to a whisper, "when I wink at you, that's when the plan begins."

"Hn."

"Plus," Naruto added, "since tonight is when we pull the plan that could very well get us kicked out of school, we might as well party the night away!"

He scampered off through the crowd to find Hinata.

Sasuke grumbled. The blonde dorkus maximus had a date- even Neji had a date…and here he was, stuck with his own shadow and a juice cup for company.

Until-

"Excuse me," said a voice.

Sakura!

Sasuke's head snapped up at the familiarity, but with disdain…he successfully concluded that this girl wasn't Sakura at all.

She blinked at him, confused.

"Are you okay?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Sure."

The girl had gently curled brown hair and bright green eyes hidden behind a feathered mask that matched her dress. Did she even go to their school? He'd never seen her before.

"You know," she said, "a guy like you shouldn't be sitting by the punch table all night. Don't you have a date?"

"No."

"Well, what about your friends?"

"They're with their own dates."

The girl stared at him, and then held out a hand.

"Want to dance?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at her.

"No."

The girl simply sat down next to him.

"I know you're Uchiha Sasuke," she said, bluntly. He raised an eyebrow.

"How?"

"All your pranks. You're quite notorious."

"Thanks."

The girl smiled coolly at him. "And I know about Haruno Sakura too."

Sasuke shot out of his chair and gaped at her.

"W-W-What are you talking about?!"

The girl waved a hand airily.

"I've seen you around- and everyone knows about the pranks going between your group and hers."

"Hn."

"Anyways, I'm Sana," she said, smiling at him.

Sasuke sat down, tense.

"So," Sana said, twiddling her fingers, and trying to make small talk. "Any plans for the future?"

"Does the hospital count?"

Sana blinked at him. "The hospital?"

"Yeah- I'd probably get beat up by Sakura so bad the next time I see her, I'll be half- dead."

Sana looked at him a moment longer before bursting into laughter. Sasuke raised his eyebrow. She laughed…at his lame joke?

Sana wiped a tear from her eye. "Sorry- I guess, in my situation, I probably understood that better than—er…nevermind."

Sasuke looked at her. "Situation?"

"Nothing, nothing."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Sana seemed…uncomfortable.

"Do you want to dance?" she asked again.

"No."

"I bet you'd dance with Sakura," Sana said, playfully.

Sasuke glared at her.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, I _know _you like her and everything, but—"

"I do NOT like her!" Sasuke retorted.

"Sure."

"I DON'T!"

Sana's look was so appraised that Sasuke crumbled.

"Okay…maybe a little bit."

Sana swallowed.

"Really?"

"Sometimes," Sasuke muttered, "I just wonder if she'd hate me for liking her. After all I did."

Sana's mouth was partly opened and she snapped it shut.

"I-I don't think she would be."

"Really?"

"Not at all."

Sasuke cocked his head.

"Besides," Sana continued, "she whooped your butt in most of the pranks, so you don't need to feel bad."

Disregarding how she knew that, Sasuke flared up.

"WHATEVER! I totally owned her with the concrete bucket!"

"Sure. And the duck-on-forehead didn't hurt."

Sasuke growled. "I still have a scar from that…"

Sana had gotten dangerously close to Sasuke and he blinked.

"So, you think you're better than her?"

"Yes."

The girl leaned forward so they were nearly three inches apart.

"Well, Sasuke," she said, mischievously, "_think again_."

It took quite a lot of willpower for Sasuke not to yell as the girl pulled off her curly brown hair in one swoop to reveal nothing other than the color Sasuke had been dying to see all night.

Pink had never before looked so beautiful.

"S-S-S-S-S-" he sputtered.

She raised her eyebrow. "Already've forgotten my name? I'm surprised, Sasuke, you fell a little deeper into that than I expected."

Sasuke could still not get his words out. Sakura continued talking.

"And, nothing personal, but your corsage is a little…feminine for tastes, if you ask me. Something red would have been a little nicer to your—"

"SAKURA!" he managed to gasp out.

"…yes," she said, slowly.

"Y-Y-YOU'RE SANA!"

Sakura stared at him. How dense could he get?

"Um…yes…"

"S-S-SO YOU HEARD EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT- ABOUT YOU!"

"Yes."

"A-A-A-AND THE DUCK?!"

"Yes."

Sasuke struggled to breathe for a moment, and then regained his form.

"Well…uh…"

"Um…" Sakura started.

"What I'm trying to say," she said, quietly, "is, I'm sorry. For…overreacting and everything. And I heard you while I was drunk, so, I know you wanted it to be harmless, but I'm really okay now."

Sasuke nodded numbly.

"Plus," she sighed. "I couldn't resist seeing your face as I kicked your butt at pranks again."

Sasuke growled. "Haruno…"

And then, he spotted Naruto.

He winked. It was the signal.

Sasuke stood up quickly, grabbing her wrist. "Let's dance," he said, gruffly.

"Huh?"

Sasuke practically ran to the center of the room, dragging her along.

"LET THE MISSION BEGIN!" came Naruto's yell. He was already onstage, a microphone in his hand, and a confused and scared Hinata in his arms. "PULL, NEJI!"

The Hyuga (who had managed to get his arm around Tenten) tugged on a rope dangling from the side of the stage.

And all hell broke loose.

The entire student body screamed as the ceiling fire sprinklers literally exploded- water flooding the entire room and everything in it. Girls and their dates ran out the exits for dry cover, and the few that stayed were now dancing happily in the "rain".

Naruto was whooping out of delight, shaking his wet hair out his eyes. Turning to a drenched Hinata, he grinned. Hinata flushed as he wiped a few strands of her hair out of her face and then kissed her.

Quite passionately.

And Neji would have done the same if Tenten hadn't jumped him already, so that was all settled.

But not for our final couple…

"Well, you just ruined my night," Sakura said, sarcastically, shaking her wet hair from her face, but beaming.

"This prank was supposed to make you mad," Sasuke deadpanned.

"I don't think that worked," Sakura whispered, drawing him closer.

"JUST KISS HER ALREADY!" Naruto yelled as he danced with Hinata. He sweatdropped. Loud as always.

Sasuke smirked and leaning forward, he kissed Sakura lightly on the lips. She smiled, wrapping an arm around his neck.

It was a perfect ending.

Almost.

SQUEAK.

"AUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHH!"

_**Fin.**_

**Yeah, I guess some people can guess what happened at the end. If not, refer back to chapter nine.  
**

**Wow, guys. I can't thank you enough with putting up with my slackitude and procrastination. I READ ALL OF YOUR REVIEWS AND THEY KEPT ME GOING! I love you all, and I sincerely hope you will continue reading my other stories. Another story, another ending, albeit rushed. This fic was just purely for the crack and humor that came from my nonthinking fingertips.  
**

**Special thanks to Cat- who drew that duck scene. And for being my bestest friend.**

**BWAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Please leave your last thoughts on this story!**

**-aNdreaa**


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